I am

I've been a mother for almost nine months.
I am not the same person I was nine months ago. (Or eighteen months ago, for that matter.)

I am softer. I am a different shape, but a shape better for cuddling and rocking and snuggling and nibbling on (he's teething) and wiping runny noses on.

I am more talented. I can hold a baby while I talk on the phone and apply makeup without letting said baby chew on the mascara tube (did I mention he's teething?). I can cook dinner while I sing and dance to entertain the baby that I'm also hand-feeding diced pears to. I can navigate from my bedroom to the nursery, pick up a 20-something lb nine-month old, and nurse him in my sleep. I can give a visiting teaching message while Nicholas is knocking on my face and squeezing my nose.

I am more tired. I am more careful. My left arm is capable of carrying a hefty little guy for quite a while without falling off. I am tied down, bound to this child who has changed my life. I am not able to sleep, shower, watch a movie, sit and read, or even type a blog post without interruptions.

I am working harder than I've ever worked in my life.

But.

I am happier. Infinitely happier.
I am the one who gets to see Nicholas's sleepy, milk-drunk smile when I get up to feed him during the night.
I am the one who hears him giggling and singing to himself when he's playing in the other room.
I am the one he crawls towards.
I am the one he snuggles his head against when he's tired.
I am the one who taught him how to hide under his blanket when he wants to play peek-a-boo.
I am the one who loves every little piece of him more than anyone else in the world-his toes, his dimpled hands, his soft reddish-brown hair, his sweet breath on my neck, the twinkle in his blue eyes.
I am less selfish, more patient, more giving, and more loving than I ever thought I could be.

I am a mother.
And I wouldn't choose anything else in the world.



Oh, and one more thing. I am the one who got the most amazing Mother's Day present ever. I've been wanting this for...well, my whole life.
Yes, I own a piano. Yes, I've been playing it nearly nonstop since yesterday afternoon. Yes, I'm in love with it. And with craigslist. And with my sweet husband who bought the piano for me. (Not in that order.)