where you look back and almost can't remember them not being a part of your family,
where it kinda starts to feel like he's been with you forever.
I love it,
but it also tugs at my heart a little bit, to realize how fast time passes and how I'll never really be able to remember how it felt to have just two kids.
This time around, though, the transition really hasn't been that rough.
Everyone said that going to three kids was the hardest, so I was bracing for a rough time,
but really, for me,
three kids doesn't feel much different than two kids did.
Life with two kids was already crazy, throwing another one in hasn't really changed anything.
What has changed, though, is me.
This third child has made me a happier, calmer, less stressed mother.
I appreciate this job more.
I celebrate the little victories, like the baby taking a simple fifteen-minute nap, more.
I'm just...happy, content, grateful.
Most of my days the only thing I accomplish is keeping three children fed and loved,
and that's enough for now. I don't get to shower most days, I often forget to feed myself, and I'm dying for a haircut, but I get to snuggle a sweet-smelling chunky baby, read books to my darling girl while I nurse, and get handmade cards that say "I love you, to mom, from Nick" from my lanky tow-headed five-almost-six-year-old.
Even though my house is a mess, I'm more relaxed than I was when I had the time and energy to do the dishes and sweep under the kitchen table.
I think it's kind of a survival thing, but things that used to bother me are suddenly not that important anymore.
Last Thursday morning was Nicholas's Mother's Day program at preschool. I didn't know about it until we dropped him off (there was a flier about it in his bag, but had I looked in his bag after his class the day before? Nope.) Thankfully, I was dressed, but Ellie didn't have shoes and she was wearing the clothes she'd worn the day before because she fell asleep in them before dinner and we just stuck her in bed. Her hair was wild, she had a milk mustache, chocolate stains all down the front of her shirt, and a giant hole in the knee of her pants. Christian looked pretty cute (he's too little to get holes in his knees, or else he'd have one too), but I didn't have a blanket for him, so I had to take the carseat cover off and wrap that around him. I was dressed (thankfully!), but didn't have even a drop of makeup on. I'd left my phone in the car too, so no chance to take pictures.
But, we were there,
I got to watch my sweet boy sing songs to me, I got to see his darling proud smile, his bright happy eyes, and at the end of his songs, he was able to run over and give me a giant hug.
We went outside tonight and Kent and the kids rode their bikes up and down our street while I walked with Christian in the ergo. The air was cool and fresh, the kids were laughing, and Christian made soft little coos right under my chin.
Life with three kids is pretty sweet.