Tuesday, June 14, 2011

i'm still learning

A friend I met up with in Utah mentioned something to me about how she is excited to have her own children someday, because then she can start from the beginning raising her family the way she wants to and she won't have to try and correct mistakes made in the past.

I might be relatively new at this motherhood stuff,
but I know that I can only wish it was that easy.

This boy of mine, this beautiful happy boy of mine,
he is keeping me on my toes.
He is clever, curious, tenderhearted, active, loving, and silly.
He needs people to love.  He needs things to explore and places to go.

In Utah and in California, he was happier than I've seen him since he entered toddlerhood.  There were so many people for him to love, and so many things for him to do.
Back here at home, I feel inadequate.  I feel like I'm not enough for him sometimes,
like he needs more than I can give him.

Which I am trusting is simply
his Heavenly Father's way of stretching me, teaching me, and helping me to grow into the woman and mother He wants me to be.

I know I need to be more creative. More involved.  More active.
I'm oh so pregnant-tired, and it's oh so Texas-hot outside,
but one thing I have learned so far about being a mother,
is that somehow, when I make sure I'm doing what I should be,
the little I can do always becomes enough.


shannon said...

Your post kinda reminded me of another blog post I read recently. This mom made a list of 10 things, if she accomplished them daily, that would make her feel like she had done her best. Cuz that's all you can really do . . . your best.
I'm thinking about my list.

magunn said...

Oh my goodness amen! Amen, amen. Can I just copy and paste this post onto my blog? Mac gets quite tired of me very quickly, particularly after coming back from Utah. And though Mickey always gets a smile, I am definitely feeling like there's quite a bit more I need to be doing.

I guess the point is we just keep trying, right?