best friends

At the beginning of the year, Kent and I had to decide if we should send Nicholas to kindergarten this fall or keep him in preschool for another year. 

It was a really hard decision for us. I really felt like Nick could go either way and be just fine. He was probably ready for kindergarten, but I knew he'd also benefit from a year of growing before he started.

In the end, it came down to making it a matter of prayer,

and we felt like we should let him stay back a year.

Since we were guided to this answer, I know many things will come that will show why it was the right choice, but for now,

I'm already so very glad we kept him back.  Simply because, over this year,

my kids have become best friends.

These two play. All day long. We're talking hours and hours of uninterrupted independent imaginative play. We have other friends, but I don't put much emphasis on playdates or having friends over--these two keep each other occupied and happy just fine on their own.
I love it. 
Just yesterday, they played cowboys, doctor, "how to train your dragon," puppies, and some game where they stacked up the couch pillows and shot nerf darts at them then jumped around in a sort of contest. 
In the past, they've filled cereal boxes with "treasure" and made pirate maps, put ziplock bags on their feet and pretended they were dust booties and that they were touring the temple open house, made forts, created restaurants, played airplane and trains, robots, dancers....their imaginations are endless.

This is from last week, where they spent nearly an hour using butter knives to slice pretzels. 
Their play is anything but clean,
but to me, the mess is so worth it--to see them using their imaginations, being creative, active, and learning to get along. And when they're done playing, they get to learn how to clean up after themselves. 
(Admittedly, they're much better at the playing than the cleaning part so far....we're working on it.)

I have no idea what was going on here, but they were happy, so I just let it be.

As they learn how to be best friends, they are also learning how to be kind. 
We certainly have our moments where it's not all smiles and cooperation. They're young, and they're siblings. Fights do happen, typically about strange things, like when one of them wants to sing and won't let the other sing along too, or when Ellie starts yelling about Nicholas "looking at me!" and he follows her around the house "looking" just because he knows it bugs her.
Then there's the radio in the car....aiy! Without exception, every time one child says "I like this song, turn it louder!" the other will immediately shout/whine/screech "I don't want this song. Turn it OFF!" 

BUT, 
as I help them, teach them that fighting isn't allowed, and encourage them to work it out, they are learning to be kind. 

Here Nick is giving Ellie a pep talk about why she should sit still while I put lotion on her chapped cheeks and lips.  

When Nicholas is sad, Ellie scours the house to find his panda, Bao Bao, and she'll bring it to him. 

They try to make each other laugh when they're upset, they "wrap" presents for each other,

and occasionally, they even make sacrifices in order to make the other happy, like giving the other the last cookie.  It makes my mama heart so happy. 

I love to see that they love each other.

A couple of days ago, they took all the presents out from under the tree and played "UPS." 

Nick even created a conveyer belt/machine to slide the presents through, then Ellie was in charge of stacking them and delivering them, setting them in front of each door in the house and knocking. 

I'm really hoping that this friendship is something they can keep even as they get older and life gets busier. And for now, I'm grateful Nicholas gets to have one more year of just being home to play before he starts school.

"gingerman" houses

 This Christmastime has been magical. 
The kids are SO much fun. The best thing about being a parent is how life just keeps getting better with these kids. I keep thinking every stage is the best (okay, maybe not every stage...but close), and then the grow a little, and surprise! It's even better!

They wake up each morning with big eyes, carrying their chocolate advent calendars in to ask us what day it is and which number they can open.  
They sing or hum Jingle Bells and Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer all.day.long. 
They race to the door each time we hear the UPS truck, then they "help" me wrap every present.
We eat each meal by candlelight. After dinner every night we turn off the lights and sit around the Christmas tree to read a Christmas book and finish with a scripture about the Savior's birth and then we listen to a Christmas hymn or watch a bible video on lds.org (go here to see them--they're amazing!)

And we've tried to fit in a fun Christmas activity here and there too.  
We've gone up to see the lights at Temple Square, gone out for hot chocolate and cookies before bed, driven through a lights display near our home, dipped cinnamon bears in chocolate, and on Sunday night, we made graham cracker gingerbread houses.
Or "Gingerman houses" as Ellie says.

 Daddy and Ellie worked on one together while Nicholas and I did the other. 
Ellie was very specific about what candy she wanted where, and their finished house was darling. Kent even pulled off a Chevron-frosted roof.  

When the kids were all done, though, Ellie and Nick started comparing houses.
Ellie seemed disappointed in hers.  Nicholas said, "But Ellie, your house looks great! You and Dad made it really awesome!"
Ellie pulled her lips to the side, tipped her head and looked at it, then sighed. 
"Yes, but well, Daddy just didn't do his best job on it."

As I predicted, currently Ellie's gingerbread house has maybe one piece of candy left on it, while Nicholas's is still almost entirely intact.  Sometimes I'm baffled at how such two different personalities made their way to our family.

There's still 8 days until Christmas, and we've got a few more activities waiting for us.

the third time

23 weeks, while we were in California

I've reached the point in my pregnancy, where I look pregnant enough (and I've grown a lot since I took that shot four weeks ago...) that the first thing people ask me when they see me is, "How are you feeling?" and "when are you due again?" 

The due date is an easy one to answer.
But "how are you feeling?" is a bit trickier.

You see, physically, pregnancy is hard for me. I know many women have it so much harder, so I can't complain (and I try not to...really I do), but I get very uncomfortable, very early on.  My bones hurt, I have mountain-loads of braxton hicks contractions all day every day, and I can hardly waddle around WalMart without needing to sit down because my hips and bones just ache. And I've got a long time to go still.

BUT,
this third time around,
I'm happy. Happy to be pregnant. Happy to be carrying life. Happy to be bringing another darling squishy baby into my arms.
And so, I feel great. Grateful. Really and truly.  
The past two pregnancies I've been miserable, and this time, I'm not. (Now, we'll not even talk about ten weeks from now...but I'm doing my very very best to stay positive, maybe I can keep it up?) I feel the same, maybe even a little worse than the first two times physically, but I am in such a better place mentally and emotionally that I really do feel better.

There are a few things that have changed me this time.
First of all, when Ellie was born, Nicholas was just barely two, still just a baby himself, really.  And I knew I loved babies and having children, but I really didn't know much more than that.
Now that my kids are a teeny bit older, I'm beginning to glimpse the true joy that these little people bring into my life. 

I cannot wait to have more of them. I'm so baby hungry that my arms just ache.  March cannot come soon enough.


The thing that has changed me even more than that, though, is simply understanding more about the divine nature of pregnancy and birth. 
I just finished reading The Gift of Giving Life, and I wish that every pregnant woman would read this book. 
This might sound trite, but it has truly changed me, my life.
There's a difference between suffering and sorrow.
There's a difference between pain and anguish.
There's a difference between bringing forth children in sorrow and in work. Yes, bearing children is hard hard work. But it does not have to be sorrow.

Through scriptures, discussion, and stories, this book has changed my attitude, and made me so very grateful that I get to be a part of this process. 
Yes, it's hard. But that's actually the beautiful thing about it. 
It's hard because it is supposed to be hard. That does not mean it is supposed to be miserable. Difficulty does not equal misery.

My favorite lesson out from this book so far is this:
Our loving and omnipotent Father in Heaven created us. And we know that all He does is for our benefit and because He loves us. He could have made this process easy, painless, and simple. But He did not. He loves us perfectly, so there must be a reason. 

My thought? Sacrificing ourselves, our bodies, our comfort, our health to bring life into this world makes us more like our Savior, because that is exactly what He did to bring life to all mankind. A quote from the book: "Someone had to do this so that [my son] could receive a body, and he could not do it for himself." 

In becoming a mother, "a woman must show her trust in herself, her trust in God, and be consciously involved in a deliberate act of creation by giving her heart, might, mind and strength to what is before her." (p. 253)

This physical process is so hard that it by nature brings us closer to Him, forces us to turn to Him, to rely on Him. And the joy that comes from doing so is a glimpse of heaven. 
"One thing is very clear in a study of joy in the scriptures. It is known to us only as we have practical knowledge of the dark and the light of human experience....the significance of observing the light of joy intensified by the darkness of sorrow....the peaceful spirit that flows through [a woman] following the extreme exertion of childbirth--is that it brings the realization that joy is not easily won. Joy is not a momentary pleasure. The moments of joy have long-lasting, sustaining power in human lives." (p. 324)

I'm pretty excited for more of this joy.

thanksgiving by the numbers

11: people living in my house all last week. We truly loved every minute of it. The house felt so quiet and empty when they left. We're trying to figure out when and how we can get them all to come back here!

8: pounds of butter we consumed over the week. 
0: times I regretted that. (Well...maybe just once, when I had to be weighed at my midwives appointment on Monday...)

6: chefs in the kitchen on Thanksgiving. SO glad I had such talented help with the dinner!

3: people who got the privilege of "helping" taste test the barbecued turkey (My grandpa's recipe--it's tradition!)

21: pounds of turkey cooked and nearly almost all of it consumed by the end of the week. 

72: hours of playtime spent with Nicholas, Ellie, and the uncles. My little brothers are super cool, and I'm pretty sure they actually really enjoyed playing with my children. 

And a whole week of having people other than just me and Kent to read stories/comb hair/wash little hands/put on shoes/read more stories/refill cups? It was really, really awesome.

300: times we laughed about "phteven" memes and jokes.... Okay, really, it's funnier the more times you say it. And the later it is. And the more turkey and pie you've eaten.

421: times we reached for more candied walnuts. I used this recipe. And we couldn't stop eating them.

about 1,000,000: Christmas lights we saw at the Riverwoods on Wednesday night

 And Nicholas wanted to take a picture in front of every.single.tree. 
15: times Kent wondered if Nick is really his son every time Nicholas asked me to take another picture.

Yes, but he's my child, too, after all.

2: person team it took to make the picture-perfect lattice-topped apple pie

2: times we laugh-cried (aka giggle fit--those times when you get laughing so hard you can't stop, it's contagious, and soon everyone is wiping tears and can't breathe.) "These candles are making me so hot!" and "I think I'm gonna sell this on Etsy." 
Gosh I love my family. 
2: times I realized that laugh-crying is not the most comfortable thing for a woman pregnant with her third child....

6: sugar-cones-turned-tipis crafted by my kiddos. Easy, messy, and chocolate-covered.  The tipis were followed by a Nicholas-directed tutorial on making marshmallow caterpillars ("calapitters") which were eaten too fast for me to even photograph them. 

Ellie's pretzel tipi "poles" caved in on her final tipi. Her response? "I don't care." Okay then.

56: names from our family history we took to the temple on Saturday morning to do sealings for. For more information on the work we did and why, go here or click here. What a sweet experience it was to go and do that with Kent, my parents, and Josh and Alicia. Also? I'm going to need a bigger temple dress very very soon.

35: pieces of my Grandma Murray's beautiful china carefully brought down for us to use.

The table just wouldn't have been the same without that gorgeous china, don't you think?

46: leaves on our Thankful tree. My favorites were mostly from Nicholas--all on his own he wrote "Church," "Jesus and the Prophets," "Temples," "the Sacrament," "Living with my family," and "How to Train Your Dragon." Oh how I adore that little boy!

3: pies. Pumpkin, banana cream made by Josh, and apple a la Josh and Sarah. 

6: near corpses sprawled after the big meal, along with

2: bouncing children, who did their best to jump on as many full stomachs as they could.

Thanks for coming, everyone!

California trip: Grammer and Papa love

We went to California to see Grammer and Papa. 

Kent's parents are super busy in the fall. Kent's dad owns a nut-packing company, and this is "nut season." 

We're so grateful they were able to squeeze in a little time with us that weekend.

Grammer met us at the cabin, and she was the kids' playmate of choice.  Game after game after game. 

And some silliness here and there: 

 Kent, Ellie, and his parents at what Ellie calls "the funnest park!" 

Nicholas and Ellie ready for Church on Sunday.

The ward we went to up there in the mountains was unbelievably friendly (I think every single member came up to greet us before Sacrament meeting started) and also incredibly...old. 

Which meant that my children were the only kids there.

Which meant that every single little noise they made echoed through the room and everyone could hear them.

They were actually pretty good, but we had to take them out in the hallway probably seven or eight times, simply because they were being, well, children.

At Grammer's house they got to go to the park, hide things in her plantation shutters (Ellie...), and play with this awesome moon sand.

Before we left we visited Papa at the company.

And on our way to the airport, Nicholas got to be the first grandchild to stand where Grammer and Papa's new house will be. 

Ellie was asleep in the car, but Grammer made sure to give her a great big Grandma kiss to wear home.

Thanks again for the fantastic weekend!