infatuation

So. Motherhood.

It is the hardest thing I've ever done. I mean, I knew it would be hard...everyone said so and I've been around kids enough to at least know it would be hard, but I didn't realize exactly what kind of hard these early days would be. No one tells you how you'll walk around like a zombie, how you'll feel you have nothing intelligent to say to anyone anymore because you can't think straight, how many times a day you'll change outfits, how you might sometimes feel no one appreciates the work you do, the long days and the longer nights.

And yet, there's something about it that makes the hardness, easy.

Something about how deep down inside I know I'm doing the work of God.

Something that means that at the end of the day, when I feel like I've accomplished nothing visible (dirty dishes in the sink, no shower, leftovers for dinner, spit-up on the couch) I know that I've accomplished

one more day of the most precious work anyone could be doing.

You couldn't pay me enough to leave Nicholas and go away to work. I love my job. And I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Not even for sleeping.

I'm raising a child, you see.

I've got a long ways to go--he's only just barely accomplished growing out of newborn size diapers, creating a sort of

haphazard schedule, and smiling.

But oh those smiles.

Last night I was singing primary songs to Nicholas, my way of begging him to fall asleep. He was watching me with his deep blue eyes. His eyes that seem to soak up the world, taking everything in, memorizing every new sight and face. And as he stared at me, the right corner of his mouth crept upwards until his face was filled with the most beautiful open-mouthed grin I've ever seen. It was gone again as suddenly as it had come, but even that briefest smile melted my heart.

He knows me, I thought. We were communicating, for the first time.

And in that instant I fell head over heels for my beautiful baby boy. Again.

loads

There's one thing that I want to know.

How is it that a boy so very, very small
can create a mountain of laundry so very very large?

And no, he didn't help me fold it. I suppose that's something I'll have to wait a few years to teach him.

projects

Having the moms here the past two weeks gave us the opportunity to get help with some projects.
When I'm on my own with Nicholas, I have to keep my goals small for the day. If I'm able to shower, dress myself and him, do the dishes or the laundry (but not both), and make dinner I feel very successful. He's just too sweet and the time is going too fast, so I spend most of my time sitting here on the couch staring at him.

The way I see it, he's not going to be a baby forever, and I don't want to ever look back and wish I had spent more time cuddling him.

So, having Teresa and my mom here allowed me to stay on the couch with my little baby while some major projects got done around the house.
First, Teresa helped us remodel our half bath by painting and installing a light fixture so that Kent could then come in and replace the towel rack and sink fixture. I love how the room turned out!
She also helped by holding Nicholas while Kent and I put up crown molding in the living room.
Now that was a beast of a project.
Just so you know, it is not possible to make crown molding fit around a curved wall. You're better off not even trying to make it work.
Live and learn.

Then, my mom came out and spent many hours making curtains and pillows for our living room. They look fabulous--it's amazing how "finished" the room feels now!

one month

We took pictures today of Nicholas. He's one month and one day old.
We also took some of his blessing outfit, since we didn't get any close-ups of it on Sunday.
I can't believe how fast he's growing. Everyone told me he would, but I guess I didn't realize just how fast the time flies!
I had to put away his newborn size clothes a few days ago, and it was so hard to pack away those tiny, tiny little outfits-but now we're on to the 0-3 month, and I've got some adorable things for him to wear, so it is okay for now.
He'd just better wait at least a few weeks before growing out of this size.
My grandma asked me if I'm feeding him straight cream. I notice a new fold in his chubby little legs and arms almost every day. This kid is on his way to being a serious chunk.

And what an adorable chunk he'll make.

eyelashes

Yesterday, Nicholas grew eyelashes. Just like that, in a matter of a few hours.
I didn't know that could happen.
But it made me realize, it's been two weeks since I last posted,
and lots of things have happened.

So I'm getting started today.
It might take me a while,
because we're a little busy around here, doing important stuff,
like growing eyelashes.

blessed

On Sunday we blessed our baby.
Nicholas Kent Andersen.
The blessing was beautiful. It made me cry, which Kent says is now my job as the mom. I get to cry at all the important events. Oh goody.

With a son this loveable, though, how could I not cry a little?

To me it's always seemed like this is the day that you become a real family,
the day you bless your first baby.

So, here we are,
The Andersen Family. But I don't feel any different yet. I still kind of feel like we're just "playing house" with this little baby. A glorified, sleep-deprived kind of "house."

Luckily, we've had some help the past week. Kent's mom, Teresa, was here last week, and then his dad and my parents flew in this weekend. Now my mom gets to stay until Saturday.
It was perfect timing. Up until last week I was really feeling good-staying pretty much on top of things, etc., but then all of the sudden I guess it just caught up to me, and I was exhausted. The grandmas came at just the right time, and I'm feeling much better already.