Kent and Rebecca

because I'm their mama

2012-01-28T22:39:00.001-07:00

And because these two are unbelievably cute (and this picture is the first time I've noticed how much they look alike--all except for their eyes, don't you think?),
I'm going to show you what it took to get this one good shot.

He said "Mama, I'm going to look sad. Take a picture."

Silly boy.

I told him to kiss her.
Then I told him to kiss her closer to her face.

Oh how I love my munchkins.

biotinidase

2012-01-26T08:08:00.003-07:00

When Ellie was one and a half weeks old,
the week that Kent was gone to Utah,
the week that my hormones were completely haywire,
the week that I cried probably five or six times a day,
I got a very frightening letter from the Texas State Health Department.

It simply stated that Ellie's newborn blood screens had come back with an abnormal result for her biotinidase levels. If I hadn't been contacted by my pediatrician already, I was to call the number listed immediately.
And then it ended by saying the newborn blood screens are done to detect and prevent mental retardation and other serious genetic problems.

I had not been contacted by my pediatrician. I had no idea what biotinidase was, and I remember looking at my sweet newborn and wondering what could possibly be wrong with her and what was going to happen?

I called the number and oh so thankfully someone answered and she started to tell me about the necessary bloodwork that needed to be done,
and because maybe she was inspired, or maybe just because she's had more than one of these kind of phone calls,
she gave me a little bit of information about biotinidase deficiency.

Biotin is a vitamin. Most people's bodies produce it and process it in quantities more than sufficient for their needs.
But some people lack the enzyme that processes it--biotinidase.

Ellie is one of those people.

The treatment is easy, though. I simply give Ellie a liquid vitamin supplement every single day.
Her version of the deficiency is very, very mild, and we'll be taking her to a metabolic geneticist in a few weeks. We'll probably take her back every year or so to have her levels checked because the chance is good (as I understand) that she'll outgrow it.
If not,
all she needs is to take a vitamin every day. And that's it.

Without the vitamin, this deficiency causes some serious and scary stuff--seizures, hearing and vision loss, developmental delays; the list goes on.
But with the vitamin, there are no problems, no side effects.
She is and will be completely normal.

Oh how grateful I am for science, for technology, for medicine. My little girl needed that newborn blood screen, and I can't even think about what would have happened if we hadn't found out.

good but still hard

2012-01-25T15:31:00.005-07:00

How our house looked right before our friends would arrive for a night-time get together

Sometimes I catch myself thinking about our home in Texas.

I picture myself in the house, remembering the way I did things there, remembering little things,

like opening the blinds in Nicholas's room first thing in the morning so he could look down at the neighbor's dogs in her backyard,

sweeping the kitchen and pushing the broom way underneath the island,

sitting on the front porch after walking to the mailbox,

chasing Nicholas up the stairs to give him a bath and put him to bed, and then me and Kent sprawling on the couch to watch a show.

And I especially remember my winter daily walks to the park, the way the green clover grew around the sidewalks, how the dogs barked as we passed the first house on the corner, how I would dash across the street, how Nicholas would wiggle out of the stroller when he saw his friends waiting there.

It seems like, so far, the longer we are in Utah, the more intense my feelings get.

I'm more happy about being here, more sure that this is where we are supposed to be.

And also more sad about what we've left, more lonesome for our life there.

I am so, so glad when my brother comes over for dinner and spends two hours playing with Nicholas and holding Ellie,

when we make the short drive to my parents' house to stay the weekend,

when my dad stops by on commute south for work just to say hi and deliver some fresh-made cookies,

when I see the snow-topped mountains against the clear blue January sky,

when we talk about what our new house is going to be like,

and especially every day when Kent comes home from work--unstressed, happy, and excited about what he's doing there.

Yes, moving was a good thing for our family.

But it's still hard sometimes, even though it's been a few months.

I catch myself in rare quiet moments (quiet doesn't happen much with two kids) just thinking about the friends we left behind, the life we left there,

and my heart aches.

I was cleaning up my contacts list on my phone yesterday. That was rough, thinking about all the people I used to interact with, missing them all.

Allison's parents live in Utah, so she came down to visit me when she was here for Christmas

But I am grateful for what we had.

And for the good things we have here.

Life is good.

one little word

2012-01-17T17:21:00.000-07:00

2012.
Choose.

I had an epiphany of sorts a few weeks ago.
To become the person I want to be is less a matter of stepping up a level
as it is simply making lots of little good choices
every single day.

Choose to get up before Ellie so I can spend a few minutes one-on-one with Nicholas.
Choose to eat an orange instead of a cookie.
Choose to read my scriptures instead of that yahoo news article.
And so on. Little, tiny, everyday choices.

Simple, I know, but I guess it just hadn't clicked in my head until now.

I know what is right,
but because I am lazy or tired or overwhelmed,
I tend to make the choice that is easiest. Not always best.

And then I get discouraged because I feel like I'm so far off from the person I want to be.

So this year,
instead of telling myself that I am going to do something amazing or be someone amazing,

I am going to just make little good choices. and see where that gets me.

Each month I'm going to focus on one area I want to improve, and I'm going to make good choices each day in that area, maybe do a few extra activities that relate to that area, and hopefully some of the things I do will carry over each month and
maybe by the end of the year I'll be able to look back and see that I've become better,
just by making small choices.
Every day.

Ellie 2 months

2012-01-06T17:06:00.001-07:00

I love this girl.
This morning, she gave me her first laugh.
Just a little one, but oh so cute!

And I guess I need to clarify.
I usually avoid talking about blogging...ugh
but if my last post came off as me complaining about how hard being a mother of two is,
that isn't what I intended.

I was feeling full of love and gratitude for my two little ones,
and I wrote the post with the intention of saying how,
even though it's super hard,
I am happier with these two kids than I ever have been.
My seminary teacher in high school was right when he told us that
with each stage of life comes even more joy than you had before.

So now, Ellie at two months:

She is pure joy.
She's getting faster at eating (hallelujah!) and she still eats every 2 1/2 to 3 hours, but with it only taking about 15-20 minutes to feed her now, I feel like I can accomplish a whole lot more between feedings.
So far, she still takes a bottle well when I need her to. I'm doing my best to give one to her every so often so she doesn't decide to refuse them.

She smiles whenever we smile or talk to her,
and sometimes even when we're not paying attention.
I look over at her, she's staring at me with this giant grin, like "oh hi Mom! I was hoping you'd look at me soon!"

She remains a light, light sleeper,
not the best thing for a baby girl who has a noisy big brother,

but at night, when it's quiet and dark,
she sleeps. And I sleep.
In fact, sometimes, it's me who does the waking,
because, well, I'm nursing and sometimes she just needs to eat, if you know what I mean.

I don't know how I got so lucky to be blessed with such a happy, easy baby,
but I am constantly amazed and oh so in love with her!

the truth

2012-01-06T12:08:00.002-07:00

Attempting to take down the Christmas decorations. 3 days working on it now and I'm still not done. Almost.

Before I even got pregnant with Ellie I wondered what it was going to be like.
Having two kids.
I knew that the workload was going to increase exponentially.
And I wondered if it was even possible for the joy
to increase just as much.
I mean, with Nicholas we were happier than we had ever been before,

Could it really get better?
Or would it just get harder?

The truth?
Yes.

This is hard. Between Nicholas's ever eager "helping" hands and Ellie's rotating sleep, eat, diaper schedule, I feel like I get nothing done.

Most nights, when we finally get Nicholas to bed right as Ellie starts to cry for her bedtime feeding frenzy, I find myself telling Kent how all I want is
just 15 minutes where no one little needs me.
I just want to be able to shower without getting out four times to replace Ellie's pacifier and without Nicholas opening the bathroom door over and over,
letting in all the cold air.

I feel guilt. When I take care of one child, I feel guilt about the attention I feel like I should be giving to the other. I know it will all get better and easier as the months go by,
but I feel guilt nevertheless.

I kind of feel like I don't have time to be fun anymore.
I'm too busy cleaning up after blow-out diapers, trying to stop Nicholas from wiping his nose on his sleeves (futile), calling hospitals and doctors to clear up the insurance mess we made with changing jobs right before having a baby, doing dishes and laundry over and over.

And yet somehow, I am happier.
I can't even explain it.   It's just the truth.

I love Kent more right now than I ever have. As we work harder to take care of our children, I see how good of a father he is. I see how incredible he is as a husband. I see how well he takes care of and provides for our family.
I feel like now, more than ever before, we are partners and it is good.

There are moments, sometimes brief, when all is right and everyone is happy.
Like last night, right before Kent got home. The house was clean (miracle), Ellie was smiling and cooing on my lap, and I was helping Nicholas draw pictures of our family on his chalkboard.

Or the little moments when I hold my busy little boy close and remember how he felt in my arms when he was Ellie's age.

Or this morning, when Ellie gave me her first little laugh.

Or when we went out to find a new favorite frozen yogurt place and Nicholas proved that he really does know his colors as he correctly labeled every single m&m in his bowl.

Or at bedtime, when I say goodnight to Nicholas and he whispers a very very sweet "Merry Christmas Mommy." (He hasn't figured out that Christmas was only one day.)

I saw a quote this morning on Pinterest.
"The joy of motherhood comes in moments."
-Elder M. Russell Ballard.

I think I'm learning that most of the time, being a mother is hard.
But when those joyful moments come, somehow that joy lasts just long enough to get you to the next good moment.

did we bring Texas with us?

2012-01-04T14:49:00.001-07:00

53 degrees.
We went to the park.
It was beautiful.
I think we must have brought Texas' winter weather with us.

But it better not stick around once summer hits.
Because opening my windows at night this summer to let the house cool off? You wouldn't believe how excited I am about that.

new years

2012-01-04T14:42:00.002-07:00

Kent and Ellie. 11:15 pm on New Year's Eve.

We drove up to my parents' house for New Years weekend,

and crammed as much fun as possible into those four days.

A few of the things we did?

Kent and I got away to see Sherlock Holmes. Loved it.

Nicholas learned to play Just Dance. Beyond hilarious. "That was a good song! I danced good!"

I learned that a marble track toy can entertain my boy for an hour and a half straight.

Ellie slept from 11 to 6 every single night. That's my girl!

We played laser tag. So so fun. And next time we go it will be even better because we think we've finally figured out the rules.

Kent discovered a new almost-as-good-as-Silva's taco truck. He went three times.

We had a New Year's Eve party with my cousins in the afternoon on Saturday. We had tons of snacks, played the name game and reverse charades, and Kent got to fulfill his need for giant, expensive fireworks.

I woke Kent up to kiss me at midnight on January 1st. Then we went to bed.

I found hidden ping-pong talent with my dad's new set.

New Year's predictions.

Apparently my brother Josh is going to find a sturdy Mexi-Russian who makes great tacos and whose name begins with either a C or a J. He will beg her to date him.

They will wed on Thanksgiving, and the reception will include tacos and the mafia.

At least, that's what Kent predicts.

We took my parents to Hamilton's--the same place we had our wedding luncheon at--to thank them for all their help with our move to Utah.

And now we're back to real life. I've chosen a word for 2012 (more on that later), I'm working on my plans for the year, cleaning my house, and looking forward to seeing what this year brings to our family here in our new home.

bathtime

2011-12-29T09:20:00.000-07:00

Nicholas and Ellie's first time bathing together.

The water is purple from Nicholas's tub tints. Second best stocking stuffer ever.

First best? The tube of 25 glow stick bracelets I found in Target's dollar section. He. loves. them.

And a post-bath photo shoot of my chubsies.

She seriously gets cuter every minute. I just can't get enough of my Ellie!

Christmas 2011

2011-12-28T21:51:00.002-07:00

We had a joyous Christmas this year.

Kent's parents came to have Christmas with us, and it was wonderful.

After our dinner on Christmas Eve--ham, rolls, roasted red potatoes, vegetables, and some of the 12 bottles of sparkling cider Kent bought at Costco (he likes his sparkling cider!)--

Nicholas was able to open one present.

He played with the train for almost an hour, and I wondered why it was that we were even giving him anything else.

Ellie enjoying Christmas Eve from my lap. This is the cute face I see all day long.

We made candy cane milkshakes and then we watched the Church's new nativity video.

Nicholas and Ellie left cookies for Santa and carrots for the reindeer.

I thought Nicholas was too young to really understand the excitement of Christmas Eve, but I was wrong---he laid awake in his bed until 10:30, just talking to himself, reading his scripture books, and asking us for drinks.

At one point, when I was leaving his room after giving him a drink, he whispered ever so sweetly, "Merry Christmas Eve, Mom!" Ah melt me!

Christmas morning finally came, and Nicholas woke up crying so Kent got up and brought him out to see all the presents Santa brought.

Nicholas's reaction surprised us. He started crying.

"But I wanted Santa here!"

Oops. I guess he wanted to see Santa, not just have him leave presents.

Sometimes we regret the things we say to our two-year-old.

But Nicholas cheered up, drew on his chalkboard easel a bit, and then he saw the plate where the cookies had been.

Santa had eaten all but half a cookie, and the reindeer had taken a bite out of each carrot.

"This is not good. Not good at all!" he came running in to tell me. "Santa didn't like his carrots!"

And then Nicholas ate the rest of Santa's cookie.

This was our first Christmas in our own home since we've been married,

so we tried to start a few traditions.

One thing we started (wish I'd gotten a picture of it) was what we are going to call "Noel Nibble."

Instead of stopping the present-opening fest of the morning to eat breakfast,

Christmas breakfast at our house is going to be just a smorgasboard of finger-food that can be eaten while we open presents.

This year we had fruit, mini cinnamon rolls, cream puffs, sausage, and juice.

And Nicholas attempted to add his pretend food to his breakfast.

Kent got me a cocoa-latte maker (amazing hot chocolate and steamed milk, guys. Amazing.) and when I opened it I said "Oh it's just what I wanted!"
(My Christmas letter to Santa is an email with amazon links.)
And after that, every present Nicholas opened he'd say,
"It's just what I wanted! Thanks guys!"
Adorable.

After we opened all the presents, the guys set up the remote-control racetrack in Nicholas's room. We played some, went to Church and blessed Ellie, and had a wonderful, peaceful Christmas day.

For more about our Christmas happenings, Teresa's post about it is here.

a smile

2011-12-28T19:22:00.000-07:00

I have a Christmas post coming...

but I just had to share these pictures.

Nicholas noticed that Ellie had the same flower in her hair as her little doll;

"Take a picture Mommy!"

And when I pulled out the camera,

this is what we got:

A little scrunched in the first one.

I adjusted her a bit, then she smiled and smiled while I snapped away.

I guess she figured if it was going to be her first smile on camera,

she might as well make it a good one!

our Christmas blessing

2011-12-25T16:54:00.000-07:00

We chose to bless Ellie today. Kent, as a holder of the Priesthood, was able to perform the blessing. You can read more about this at this link.

It was a very special day for a baby blessing,

and it was a very special, very sweet blessing.

Oh how grateful I am that Kent is able to do these things for our family.

I think that these are the times when I love him the very most.

And my Ellie looked pretty much adorable.

The booties are the ones I wore when I was blessed as a baby,

and the white blanket is the one that Kent came home from the hospital in as a baby.

We were so glad to have both our dads and my brother join in the circle with Kent for the blessing.

Everyone came back to our little apartment after Church, and we had pulled pork sandwiches for lunch before my family headed back up home.

It was a very Merry Christmas, and we feel very blessed.

Christmas at Temple Square

2011-12-24T22:08:00.000-07:00

It is so great to be living here.

We were able to meet up with my family in Salt Lake on Thursday night

so we could see the lights at Temple Square.

Nicholas had the time of his life--

"ho ho lights," uncles and aunt and grandma and grandpa, gingerbread cookies from Deseret Book (their gingerbread factory window display is awesome!), a train ride (the TRAX in Salt Lake), and pizza and a pool party at the hotel my family stayed in. What a night!

It was a chilly night,

but I think out of all of us, Ellie stayed the warmest in her bundle in the stroller.

She was just too cute with her little face peeking out from all the blankets.

We rode the elevator to the top of the Joseph Smith building to look at the lights from up there.

This is Nicholas giving his "gangster pose."

Wonder where he learned it from?

He was thrilled to be on the train.
When I asked him if he wanted to ride the train with Grandma and Grandpa, I was going to follow it with "or come in the car with Mommy and Daddy?" but as soon as I said the word train, his eyes lit up, and I knew what his answer was going to be.
It was such a fun night!

Merry Christmas!

Nicholas-isms

2011-12-19T19:42:00.004-07:00

I don't know if it's just his age, or the new baby, or what,

but Nicholas all the sudden,

well he's not a toddler anymore. He's a little boy.

And he's hilarious. The things he says...he sounds like a little adult, and we are often asking

where in the world did he hear that?

I wanted to write down some of the things he says so we can remember.

Things he says all the time:

"Seriously??" Said when he drops something or he can't get something to work right. He got this one from Kent.
"How are you, Mommy?" or "Are you good?" He'll poke his head into wherever I am and ask this. Just checking up on me. I love it.
"Silly me!" Whenever he makes a mistake or says something wrong he giggles and says this.
"Thank you Sho Much!" He's super polite, always grateful, and he puts a funny little "sh" sound in there that is just adorable.
"Good job Mommy (or Daddy)"
"Wah!" This one is one of those I-love-to-hate things. When he's about to throw a tantrum because he didn't get what he wanted, he starts out with a super whiney "wah!"
"I want to go home!" He's been saying this for months, even before we moved from Texas. I don't know where he thinks home is...maybe yogurtzone?
"It has yuckies!" Anytime he finds crumbs or something is sticky or if he just plain doesn't want it.
"Let's hide!" hiding under blankets is a favorite game.
"Show your smile! Cheese Click!"
"You'll never get it now!"
"I do I do I do!" Kent's mom sings a song that starts out "I love my Nicholas, I do I do I do." Kent starts the song and Nicholas will finish the line for him.

One timers:

"Oh crash, It's breaking my heart." While watching my siblings play mario cart. Where did he hear that one??

"That's a nice kitchen!" When we went out with our realtor here to look at houses, Nicholas had the time of his life, and he displayed a surprising sense of design, often pointing out the good features of a house even before we did.
"Oh mom, I like that shirt!" Thanks buddy.
He was pushing a toy gun across the floor at my mom's house. Sarah asked him what it was, and he shrugged and said, "I don't know...I just mopping the floor and I using it!"
When the song Jingle Bell Rock came on the radio: "Jingle bums!?! That's my favorite!" It is his favorite song.

"I look so pressy" (his T's sometimes come out as S's) This is the third time he's managed to apply my mascara. I keep thinking surely he can't get into it if I put it here...and he keeps proving me wrong.
One morning he snuck into our bedroom without us knowing, laid down on the floor at the foot of our bed, and fell asleep. When Ellie started to stir, I reached over to get her out of her bed, and Nicholas popped up at the foot of the bed. "Are you awake, Mommy?" Then he laid back down and about 15 minutes later he stood up again and said, "I don't sleep on the ground, silly me! I sleep in my bed!" as if he was just realizing what he'd been doing.

december in photo

2011-12-19T18:24:00.000-07:00

festive

2011-12-10T17:32:00.002-07:00

We haven't decorated for Christmas yet.

I am oh so anxious to put up the tree, hang the holly, and deck the halls,

but our stuff (still) hasn't arrived from Texas. They said it would be here between the 5th and the 7th, and we just got word that it's coming in on the 13th. Boo.

So for now, we've strung a strand of lights on our patio railing, and we're doing all we can to get a sense of Christmastime elsewhere.

On Wednesday night we went to our ward Christmas party. Dinner, primary kids acting out the nativity, and Santa visit.

When Santa arrived, we were out in the foyer and the moment Nicholas heard the "ho ho ho!" and the sleighbells, his eyes got huge and he shouted "Santa!" and ran in to the gym to see him.

He did not want to sit on Santa's lap. But he liked seeing him from a safe distance.

Thursday morning Nicholas told me over and over that he wanted to see Santa again.

So I thought, why not? I was feeling brave, so I packed up the two kids and we went to the University Mall.

Where we saw Santa. Five times. Nicholas had me walk back over to the Santa's Village every couple of minutes so he could wave at Santa again. It was great exercise for me, and I was so proud-both kids were great the whole time.

I mean, an outing with a two-year-old and a five-week old and no tears? Beyond successful.

Then, last night, we picked up Kent from work and drove down the block to the Riverwoods shopping center.

They have lights that rival Temple Square's. Amazing.

As we tried to bundle the kids into the stroller, both of them were crying inconsolably.

We just about gave up and went home.

But a pacifier and a few "hug-a-mommy's" later and we were on our way. The lights were beautiful, we saw Santa again, got pizza,

and Nicholas got his first lesson in Why We Wear Coats 101.

Hopefully soon he'll get the idea and actually wear his coat.

one month

2011-12-07T09:27:00.003-07:00

My sweet Ellie is a month old already.

This first month has gone too fast. I think it was all the craziness with the move,

but I just didn't get all the newborn snuggling adoring time that I wanted.

Another reason I'm glad to be in Utah now--more time to just be at home and enjoy my baby.

And she is a joy.

I feel so blessed to have such a sweet, easy baby. She has a predictable routine of eating and napping, she's usually content to just lay and watch us, and she is a champion sleeper.

She doesn't like her carseat, and fusses the whole time we drive,

but as long as we aren't in the car, she's pretty much happy all the time.

She is starting to smile more too, and she gives us a grin a couple times a day now. I get giddy every time.
And when she isn't smiling, she is really intent on our faces, always staring at us, watching us--she has been that way since she was born.

She is deliciously plump. It seems like every morning we wake up and she's bigger than she was yesterday! I love love love those thighs.

She nurses every 2 1/2 hours during the day,

but she takes a bottle perfectly if I need her to.

She kind of reminds me of a little piggy when she is hungry-

she starts to snort and grunt and wiggle when she wants to eat,

and then as she's eating she gulps and squeaks.

She loves to grasp something as she eats,

and her fist is usually wrapped around the edge of my shirt or my finger.

Her favorite place is on my chest, with her head right up next to my neck. She falls asleep almost instantly if I swaddle her and put her up against me.

And I admit, I love it.

She loves her pacifier, and Nicholas is always telling me,

"him dropped him pinky!" when it falls out of her mouth.

She sleeps. Oh how beautifully she sleeps!

She doesn't nap well; she's a light sleeper,

but what she lacks in day sleeping she more than makes up for at night.

If she wakes up, it's only once, usually around 3 or 4.

We put her down at 11, she wakes at 4, and then not again until 7 or 7:30 when Nicholas gets up.

And the past couple of days, even though she caught a cold from her brother, she's been sleeping straight from 10 until 5.

It's glorious. I feel about a billion times better than I did when Nicholas was this age and he was waking up 4 or 5 times a night.

Nicholas still loves his little sister; he snuck into this picture all on his own so he could tell her how cute she is.

I'm often finding things in her blankets that Nicholas gave her--

toy cars, extra pacifiers, formula packets, pretty much anything he thinks she needs.
He's really quite helpful, wiping her spit up, throwing away her diapers, and always trying to give her the binky.

And he gives me a constant narrative of what she's doing.

"Him have hiccups again, Mom!"

"She sneezed like this-choo!" (he's slowly learning to call Ellie a "her" instead of a "him")

and my favorite "Baby crying Mom! Baby crying!!" as if I couldn't figure that out on my own.

We don't get much time to just sit and adore our little girl,

but my favorite time is at night,

when it's quiet and we're in our pajamas, cuddling on the couch, just holding our Ellie and watching her smile in her sleep.

This is the life.

we made it

2011-12-02T10:04:00.005-07:00

We did it. We moved to Utah,

and yesterday, our first day in our new home, was the best day I've had in a very long time. To not have "the move" hanging over my head, making me stressed/contemplative/sad/anxious...

I feel SO much better now.

On the plane Wednesday night, I looked at my little family, the four of us taking up a whole row of seats,

and I felt strangely grown-up.

Two kids, leaving our first home, moving to another state, changing jobs. Big grown-up things.

The flights went better than we could have hoped for. The kids were wonderful, and they slept most of the way.

To move like this, though,

well it was super hard and insanely stressful.

I would never recommend it to anyone. But we did it, and I survived, and today, being here with my dear sweet children, I kind of feel like I can do just about anything.

Waiting for our taxi in our empty house

Leaving was very difficult.

I took the kids over to my dear friend Allison's house so we were out of the way of the movers, and my other dear friend Allison came over. The kids played, we talked, and we pretended like things were normal
and it wasn't the last time we'd get together like that.

When we came back, the house was empty,

and then we left. I cried a little as we pulled away, but the thing about having two kids, you have to put on your big girl panties and be happy even when you don't feel like it, for their sake.

This is how Nicholas fell asleep yesterday--it was a long night getting here

Now we're here--tired but oh so happy to be here.

And really, I love Utah. Mountains! Crisp winter air! Macey's grocery stores! I already feel like we've finally come home.

Last night my brother Josh came over. We had a belated FHE lesson, ate ice cream, he played with the kids, and stayed for two hours. I love this.

thankful

2011-11-24T09:14:00.001-07:00

Our second try at a family picture-the kids were both happier this time.

This Thanksgiving isn't what I had planned.

Months ago, when I invited my family to Texas for Thanksgiving,

I was picturing a cozy house, decorated so nicely,

lots of time just cuddling the baby,

a table set with all the fancies,

a fun, relaxing week.

Instead, we have a house with bare walls,

a garage full of packed boxes,

house cleaning and readying projects to do this morning (crown molding finishing),

to-do lists, not enough time, and the knowledge that we are leaving our home in less than a week hanging over my head.

But,

when I crawl back into bed in the middle of the night and Kent reaches over to squeeze my hand,

when Nicholas gets down close to Ellie's face and tells her "you so cute! Yes you do! Yes you do!",

when Ellie falls asleep on my chest,

when I think of how Nicholas doesn't have to say a long goodbye to his grandmas and our families,

and when I think about how I know that my Heavenly Father loves me, and everything is going to be all right,

I am thankful.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

our texas adventures

2011-11-17T11:27:00.001-07:00

Mariachi band. July 2010.

Kent and I don't share many of the same hobbies.

I would rather read a book, he would rather watch the movie.

And that's how it goes for many things.

One thing we do share, though, is our love of just going out and

doing stuff.

He told me the other night that if he ever got rich (haha) he would picture himself

spending the money not so much on

big toys and new cars but on outings and vacations and experiences.

And I'm the same way.

So in the 2.5 years we've lived in Texas, we've managed to do and see a lot of stuff.

Here's what I'm going to remember "going and doing" here:

Big city concerts--Michael Buble, Brian Reagan, Beauty and the Beast, Josh Groban
Favorite restaurants; places we've been again and again and again--Guenther House, La Madeline, Paesanos, Grimauldi's Pizza, Schilo's Deli, Fralo's Pizza, Perico's, Longhorn Steakhouse, Yogurtzone, BJ's Brewhouse, sunshine donuts, Cosi, (and Kent would add HuHot and Chama Gaucha to this list)
The Alamo, the Riverwalk, etc. A few times on our own and once for every time we had visitors from out-of-town.
Buying $7 sno cones at the Alamo because we were melting in the heat.
Six Flags. Just once during Kent's internship.
Schlitterbahn. Also just once, but oh so fun!
Sea World
Floating the Comal. Oh how I would have liked to do that one again. But the drought and my pregnancy meant it just didn't happen this year.
Helicopter Tour
Natural Bridge Caverns
Visited Gruene and the Gristmill
Major awesome fireworks for Kent's 25th birthday (before the drought made them banned)
Best weekend beach getaway ever to Mustang Island with our friends.
Seeing Texas wildflowers in 2010. (again the drought prevented that this year)
Throwing our own Halloween extravaganza
Camping in March
Going to Austin to visit IKEA, stay the night, and the ill-fated drive home with the kitchen island.
Exploring new places to eat.
The weekend in the little cabin along the Guadalupe river with the Foulks
Poteet Strawberry Festival
House projects. Never-ending house projects.
Taking Nicholas to the zoo early this spring. He loved it, and his favorite animals were the gazelles and the tiny monkeys.
Winter Sunday walks in the park.
Hosting our formal Christmas dinner with our friends.
Driving through redneck country to see Medina Lake.
Getting together with friends at least once a month to have Sunday dinner, play games, watch a movie, celebrate a birthday or obscure holiday, or just plain hang out (usually involving youtube videos or researching Cancun condos).

Beach getaway--April 2010

We have had the best group of friends here;

I'm still thinking there's got to be a way for us to take them all with us.

Looking at this list, though, I'm pretty sure we'll be able to find all sorts of fun new things to do once we get to Utah.

her name

2011-11-17T10:55:00.001-07:00

For history's sake, I need to tell you the story of how we picked Ellie's name.

The day I found out I was pregnant, Kent and I went on a date-we went to our favorite Italian place and then we went to Borders and bought The Baby Name Wizard.

We established "the list" early on....

and it stayed that way. Just a list

of names that we loved. Equally.

Meaning, we couldn't pick a favorite.

Abbie

Emma
Claire

Clara

Bethany

Abigail

Lily

With the stress of us deciding to move and my due date getting closer and closer,

the fact that we didn't have a name picked was driving me crazy.

One night, somewhere around 35 weeks,

Kent and I were in bed, with the lights off.

To Kent, once the lights are off, it's time to sleep. And that's it.

But me, crazy stressed hormonal wife, I talked and talked and talked and poured out all my stresses to my poor half-awake Kent.

The list ended with
"And we don't even have a name for the baby yet!"

Kent rolled to face me, opened his eyes, and said,

"How about Ellie?"

I told him I really really liked it.

"Good," he said,

"me too. Now go to sleep."

And that was that.

first bath

2011-11-15T16:08:00.002-07:00

We gave Ellie her first bath on Sunday night.

It took her a bit to get used to the idea, but once she did she calmed right down and enjoyed the warm water.

We set up a space heater in the bathroom to make sure Ellie would be comfortable,

and Nicholas walked in halfway through the bath,

walked around for a minute,

and then said,

"whew! It's hot. I need to go in the shade!"

and then he walked around the bathroom, looking for somewhere cooler.

He just kept repeating it: "I need to go in the shade!"

It's his Texan survival skills kicking in.

I took Ellie to be weighed today at the doctors.

Last week they were a bit concerned that she wasn't gaining weight fast enough-they wanted me to start waking her up more at night to feed her.

Last week she had gained 4 oz in one week.

This week she gained 12 oz.

Yeah, I think she's doing just fine.

She's now 8 lbs. 14 oz. and 20 inches long. She's pretty much grown out of her newborn size clothes already. I'm so excited-I think she's going to be a chubby one!

two weeks

2011-11-13T18:43:00.001-07:00

My sweet Ellie is two weeks old.

I'm almost positive she smiled at me this morning. Three giant open-mouthed grins while she looked me straight in the eye.

And she smiled at my brother Nathan a few hours later. She seems too young to be smiling already, but they were quite convincing!

Those first smiles--they just fill me up and I fall in love, hard.

She is a sweetheart. So content and easy.

If I ever let her go too long without feeding her she isn't shy at all about letting me know-

loud, loud voice!

But, she rarely uses it, and mostly all I hear from her are the precious little newborn squeaks and grunts.

She is a pretty good sleeper, too-usually only waking up once or twice. (Which has been a huge blessing since Nicholas has been waking up at 5:30 every morning since daylight savings. I've quickly discovered that I can't just lounge in bed all morning with the second baby like I did with the first.)

And the new mom exhaustion hasn't hit me yet. Maybe I'm running on adrenaline with all the moving and stuff going on.

And a big part of it was all the help I have had-Teresa came last week and was truly a lifesaver, and now my mom and younger brother are here helping out.

But really, I am recovering SO much faster this time. I'm thinking a big part of that is simply the fact that I didn't have an epidural. It was crazy intense, but if it means the recovery is this much better, it's so worth it! I feel great!

Nicholas just adores her, and whenever he thinks I'm not looking he gets up close to her face and whispers to her, tells her how cute she is, and kisses her on the nose.

We're pretty much in deep deep love with this baby girl.

tender mercies

2011-11-09T14:09:00.001-07:00

Our first family of four photo-right before Kent left.

I don't know how to say it any other way.

Moving and changing jobs at the same time as having a baby is rough/almost impossible. I would never recommend it to anyone.

These post-pregnancy hormones are killing me.

But I know how things could be worse. So so much worse.

Because really, we love each other and we are healthy and we have money and safety and faith and family and

there are so many people who don't have those.

Since it's November, I'm going to focus on the tender mercies.

There are many.

1. Kent. I'm getting teary-eyed just thinking about how good I've got it. (did I mention the hormones?) He is everything to me, and we are missing him like crazy right now. I have come to realize how blessed I am to be in a relationship like this-we love each other, we serve each other, and we like each other too!

2. My children. Nicholas is my sweet boy and I am doing everything I can to figure out how to balance my attention so I can spend the time with him that I want to.
Ellie is a dear-she is a perfect baby. She even sleeps 8 hour stretches at night! In fact, I'm having to wake her up so she can eat as often as she needs to right now. Oh the irony. (but believe me, once she gains the weight like she's supposed to, I'm letting this baby sleep!)

3. Our moms. Maybe it's just the hormones again, but the idea of having to be alone right now while Kent is working for two weeks just terrifies me. Another adult presence in the house has saved my sanity this week.

4. Health. I feel SO good not being pregnant anymore. I can move! I can sit on the floor! I can lay on my stomach! I can breathe deep and eat without heartburn and go more than 15 minutes without needing to use the bathroom.

Yesterday I took Ellie to her well check-we had to go up to the childrens' hospital do the heel prick blood test and she needed an ultrasound to see if her hips are normal (nothing major-just wanted to check on them) and there were lots of sick kids. Kids with real and serious problems. And I snuggled my healthy baby close and was oh so grateful.

Life is far from easy right now,

but the beautiful parts are coming into focus.

We are blessed.

first (and second) outings

2011-11-02T15:04:00.000-06:00

We've taken Ellie out twice now.

The first was last night. We got a phone call asking if someone could come look at the house.
We have specified showings on Saturdays only,
but no one has come yet...and I didn't want to miss the opportunity.
So although I can't quite get around like I used to,
and although our house looked like it does when you have just arrived home from the hospital,
we did a 40 minute clean-up and got out of the house.

First we went to the park where Nicholas and Daddy played while I nursed Ellie in the car.
Then we went over to the Foulks house to crash for an hour.

We had a nice time, talked about the babies, ate some ice cream, and then came home.

We have two house keys. One is in the lockbox on the front door. The other is in the bag that we gave to the friends who watched Nicholas for us, in case they needed to get in for anything.
That bag is in Nicholas's room right now.

Apparently realtors always lock every door when they leave, including the door that goes to the garage.

We were locked out until 10:15 last night, when the locksmith finally arrived and let us in our house.

Luckily we were able to open our garage at least, and Nicholas had more fun than he'd had all day,
running back and forth with the broom, playing with the caulking gun, and climbing around in the car, pretending to drive to Allison's house.

And luckily Ellie is still new, can sleep anywhere, and doesn't weigh much.

Me and Kent, though, we weren't too pleased with the situation. Standing around (or sitting in the car or on the cement porch steps) for an hour and half isn't the best thing for someone who gave birth only four days earlier.

But hey, at least this happened now and not in the middle of the summer when it's a billion degrees outside, right? I suppose if you have to be locked out, last night was a good night for it.

Now, our second outing. We ventured downtown to the Guenther House this morning/afternoon since it might be Kent's last chance to go before we move to Utah.

It was beautiful.

Nicholas...well he's a bit crazed right now. This picture kind of sums up his behavior for the morning. We're chalking it up to the whole new-little-sister thing, and hoping that it wears off eventually.

the big brother

2011-11-02T14:43:00.000-06:00

Our Nicholas is a big brother now, and all of the sudden,

he seems like a boy, not a toddler.

He's actually been very sweet with Ellie.

There's been a bit of craziness, but mostly just because he's been stuck inside all day every day with a sleep-deprived daddy and a recovering mommy. He hasn't been aggressive or jealous of Ellie...at least not yet.

First thing in the morning, he looks for Ellie in her little bed, and when he sees her,

he exclaims "There's the baby!" and then he leans in close and talks to her in a high, gentle voice

"Hi baby! Baby cute!"

Nicholas likes to tell us about the baby, referring to her as "him"

"Him does this with him arms!" (showing us how Ellie stretched)

"Him make this noise: squeak!"

"I like him nose and him ears and him eyes and him hair is so cute!"

Our family the night before Ellie was born-our last night as a threesome!

Nicholas was SO excited to go to Allison's house that morning, even though we woke him up pretty early.

Proudly showing off his new big brother backpack.

We're blissfully happy that Ellie is here, and we are loving having time to just be our little family for a week before things start getting crazy.

Kent is home all this week. He's kind of taken charge of Nicholas and I take care of Ellie, so we feel like things are going well so far.

But Kent has to leave for work on Sunday. He'll be gone for two weeks.

His mom arrives on Friday, and I'm beyond grateful. This two kids stuff is fun, but more than a bit insane at times.

Ellie Sarah

2011-10-31T18:57:00.002-06:00

Saturday, October 29
3:57 pm
18.5"
8 lbs 5 oz

After the most intense hour of my life (5 cm to born in only one hour-no time for an epidural)
our little Ellie made her long-awaited appearance.

She is beautiful and very sweet.
She has her days and nights mixed up. (sleeps five hour stretches through the day, eats every 45 minutes at night. And I'm not exaggerating.)
She's a pro at nursing.
When she cries, it's a very polite "wah" and then a long pause while she waits to see if we've heard her before she tries another sweet "wah."
She's deliciously chubby, and we just can't keep ourselves from kissing those cheeks all day long.

She has her brother's hairline...poor girl.

She's perfect. We'll keep her.

we're still waiting

2011-10-24T20:09:00.000-06:00

for our baby girl to decide to arrive,

but we're making the best of it!

meanwhile...

2011-10-16T10:45:00.000-06:00

The hospital bags are packed in the car,

we've been keeping the house spotless in case we have to head to the hospital without prepping the house for showings,

which means we've been doing way too much eating out for my taste,

and we've been able to spend the past four days just hanging out, doing as many fun things with Nicholas as we can before his baby sister is born.

Last night we got a chance to go out with some friends to visit a pumpkin patch.

Nicholas had the time of his life, running wildly between the rows of pumpkins,

picking up sticks and "marching" with them,

and pointing out all his favorite pumpkins--the uglier and bumpier the better for our boy.

This black pumpkin, for example, was one of his very favorites.

Just carrying around a pumpkin, and a baby girl that really should decide to get here soon!

Nicholas got a little tired of the picture taking idea.

I have a feeling he is going to be just like his dad (and his dad's brothers for that matter) when it comes to taking pictures.

We were snapping to get their attention and Nicholas tried to help us by snapping at his friend.

After we purchased our pumpkins, we went to their house to paint them, carve them,

eat delicious (and perfectly warm) chocolate chip pumpkin cookies,

and enjoy butterscotch steamed milk.

It was the perfect last evening before the baby comes (hint, hint baby girl!)

our house

2011-10-13T14:06:00.002-06:00

We cheated a little-this first picture is from last summer, you know, when we had water. Our grass is semi-green right now, but this picture just looked better with the flowers and everything.

Has never been this clean and organized.
It's for sale.

Do you want it?

a day in the life

2011-10-13T09:46:00.001-06:00

Very very soon (yesterday my midwife checked me--I'm already dilated to a 5 1/2--now we play the waiting game)

very soon my daily routine with Nicholas is going to be very different.

I don't want to forget how life goes right now.

7:30 am. Wake up, knock on the door and call for Mommy or Daddy until they come let me out. I still haven't learned how to open doors, and Mommy is very happy about that.

7:35 am. Say a chipper "good morning!" to my parents as they lay in bed, then I have to let them know that I want to go "upstairs" (downstairs) and "Watch Ponyo!"

7:37 am. Mom can't take my repetition any longer, she asks if I'm okay with watching something, anything other than Ponyo, and we jump out of bed and go downstairs, with my blanket spread perfectly flat across mom's front ("open it!") so I can lay my head on it while she carries me down. She tries to make me walk down the stairs myself, but I beg her to let me "hug a mommy!" until she gives in.

"My see it!" When Mom is getting food ready I pull the chair over so I can see what she's doing on the counter.

7:40 am. Mom starts my breakfast of cereal. If it's Marshmallow Matey's I'll proceed to eat five more bowls of it. She turns on a show, and Daddy gets ready for work.

8:10 am. We say prayers, I wave goodbye to Daddy as he leaves and make sure to tell him "I love you bunches!"

8:15 am. I watch one more show (with more cereal please!) while Mom showers.

9:00 am. When my show finishes, I wait for Mom to finish getting ready and I "sleep" on the stairs, stretching my legs way out. I do this a lot.

9:00-9:25 am. Mom waits for me to come and get dressed while I run around and act silly.

9:27 am. Once I'm dressed, I ask Mom if I can "please pig on my head?" (watch youtube videos of the Laurie Berkner band--they have a song called Pig on Her Head.)

Mom does her computer work while I watch videos on youtube.

10:15 am. I help Mom with a few chores and then she gets to work organizing the kitchen cupboards while I come up with various ways to keep myself entertained.

Singing songs with my music toy and the car charger for Dad's phone.

"Mowing the lawn" with the swiffer mop, enjoying a sucker, and using the spray bottle to help "clean" the patio furniture.

Taking apart a stack of post-it notes when Mom is busy with the kitchen drawers.

12:30 pm. Mom and I get in the car and go eat lunch with Dad at his work. After we park the car, we walk towards the building and I start to shout "Hi Daddy!" before I can even see him. When I see him around the corner I run to him and then I chatter away to him the whole time we're there.

1:45 pm- 5 pm. I fall asleep in the car on the way home and take a nice long nap. Some days I don't take a nap at all anymore, but the days that I do I still sleep for a long time.

5:00 pm. I wake up to find that Daddy's already home! We have to work on the house a little bit more because we are trying to get it ready to be sold.

6:30 pm. We sit down at the table together and eat dinner. I don't want to eat the casserole Mom made, so I eat noodles with pasta sauce.

7:30-8:00 pm. We start my bedtime with reading books with Daddy, then I take a bath.

8:00-8:30 pm. Daddy and I get really silly while Mom is trying to get my pajamas on. I finally get dressed, we read out of my picture scripture book, say a prayer, and then Mom sings songs to me before I fall asleep.

I tell Mommy and Daddy how much I love them, and they leave, making sure to leave the door "like this!" open just a crack.

the nursery

2011-10-03T15:32:00.002-06:00

We worked so hard to get the baby's room to this point,

and well,

she probably won't ever sleep in it before we move.

Hey, now we'll know exactly how we want to set up her room when we get to our new place, right?

And really, getting her room done has helped everything seem more real, and more exciting. I love to come in here, especially at night, and just sit in the rocking chair and imagine how nice it is going to be to have my baby girl here with us.

I bought paper doilies from the craft store and painted them with watercolors to make the garland. I wanted to do something with her name to go above her bed also,

but since we hadn't decided on a name until just last week,

and now that we're leaving the house,

that's going to have to wait until we're in Utah.

just me and my boy

2011-10-03T15:20:00.001-06:00

This whole moving-having a baby-changing careers thing is craziness.
Poor Kent. My attitude about the move hasn't been very positive so far; he probably feels like there's just no pleasing me.

So I stayed up late Saturday night, sitting in the dark until well past midnight,
just thinking,
trying to figure out what I am feeling and why.

And I came to this conclusion:
I want to move to Utah. I always have. I want to be that close to family, more than anything! (And honestly, being this close to Kent's family instead would have made me just as happy. I'm just glad that being close to one family also equals being clos-er to the other.)

But, I don't want to move now. I don't want to leave my friends. I don't want to leave my house. It makes my heart hurt.

I wanted to have this baby, and then settle in and have the holidays here in our own home for the first time, just enjoying being a family. I wanted my friends to be able to watch my baby girl grow and change. I wanted to watch their kids grow and change.

It just hurts to leave.
But this would be hard no matter when we decided to move. So the timing, maybe it isn't so bad after all.

All that thinking has helped. I'm focusing on the positive now, and that helps me to be the happy wife and mother that Kent and Nicholas deserve, and make the most of these next two months.

There really isn't much time left that it will be just me and my favorite little boy at home.
So I'm setting aside my to-do list every so often and simply being here, just me and Nicholas, laying on the couch reading books and building wobbly wooden block towers.

Baby Aubrey

2011-09-30T09:20:00.001-06:00

Can't we just take all our friends with us?
Leaving is hard.

timing

2011-09-28T15:51:00.002-06:00

I'm sorry I haven't kept on top of the 30-day photo challenge.
We've been busy here,
life-changing decision-making kind of busy.

And what it comes down to is this:
Kent put in his two weeks notice at work yesterday.
We are moving to Utah. At the first of December.

Things fell into place so quickly, suddenly, unexpectedly. Kent has a job offer that we just can't refuse. He is so so excited about it, and I am so so proud of him for receiving it.
And the chance to live only 2 hours away from my family (and easy driving distance to Kent's)
well really, that's what we've dreamed about ever since Nicholas was born.

The timing has been hard for me to accept. I'm nearly 35 weeks pregnant! We're going to have a baby, then move! This is insanity!
But,
deep down inside, we feel certain that this is not insanity, but the hand of the Lord working to help direct our lives.

I've always thought that the idea of trusting in the Lord's timing meant waiting.
Waiting for things to work out, waiting for things to get better. Always waiting.
This is the first time I'm realizing that sometimes, the Lord's timing means doing something
right now
when maybe you don't think it's the best idea.
Or when maybe you really aren't ready to leave the friends you've made.
(when it truly comes down to it, we will be able to leave everything about Texas with just a "thanks for the memories"....except our friends. This is bitter. And I hate the thought of it.)

But there is also the sweet. We are going to be so very close to our family.
And even though California and Kent's family will still be a twelve hour drive from us,
when we fly there from Texas, the entire traveling takes nine or more hours,
so just three more hours,
driving instead of flying with kids....
well that just sounds so much more doable! (not to mention cheaper!)

And I do have to say that I am simply giddy to think about having seasons again, Utah grass, growing a real garden, snow at Christmastime, and a summer where you can actually bear to go outside.

It's up and down-happy and sad, but we know that this is the right choice for our family,
and the timing, well, I'm learning to trust in that too.

33 weeks

2011-09-20T07:29:00.002-06:00

Took this picture last week-at 32 weeks

Kent and I were going to bed last week when it suddenly dawned on me:

While I'm certainly not going to be going into labor this early,

if it did happen, we could safely have a baby girl in only two weeks.

That is crazy, people. Where oh where have the past 8 months gone?

As of right now, I'm doing pretty good.

After coming home from Utah last month I was quite uncomfortable for a week or two--kind of felt like someone was tearing me apart at the hips. Couldn't walk, sit, put on my clothes, etc. At one point I was really starting to think that something was seriously wrong, but my midwives told me it was all very normal for a second pregnancy.

(What is the third and fourth time around going to be like??)

But, the pain has eased up a lot since then. And I am SO grateful for that.

I still feel sore and tired and sort of like my bones are going to fall in a heap on the floor sometimes (an unusual sensation that I certainly did not have last time I was pregnant),

but really,

I'm just glad to be back to being able to get off the couch and take care of my house and my family, even if I am a bit slower than I used to be.

Beyond all of that, though,

I really am doing good.

I'm usually tired enough by the end of the day that I can fall asleep before the restless legs start up,

and I sleep quite soundly in between the bathroom trips, according to Kent.

(I guess being pregnant makes me snore louder...)

I'm ravenously hungry, and always thirsty.

Last week I made brownies to give to the girls I visit teach, but then we shared some with the missionaries, and then,

I kind of ate the rest of them,

even the ones on the edges of the pan that had gotten all stale. Gross, I know.

I've been craving chocolate, all the time.

Nearly everything is ready for the baby now; her room is coming together, we have all the blankets and soft pink things that we need, and I've been arranging all the little baby things that little babies need.

The only thing we don't have is a name.
We have a list, but we're pretty much stumped. None of the names on our list are standing out to us enough for us to choose them,
so we're still searching.
Any ideas for us?

The weather is cooling off (a bit), the weeks are passing quickly, and every time I see the Halloween decorations in the stores it feels like November 5th is going to be here before we know it!

photo challenge: 9 through 14

2011-09-14T08:19:00.004-06:00

Nicholas wears pants when we're in public, I promise. Just not at home. He's only two.

Day 9: faceless self-portrait

I try to plan something every afternoon that requires getting out of the house. If I'm lucky, Nicholas falls asleep in the car on the way home. Then I get that boy out of his carseat, heft him on top of my belly, and carry him upstairs for his nap.
And then I take a nap too. Because suddenly I have realized that my napping days are numbered.
Seven weeks left.
I know the baby will sleep, but the likelihood that the baby will sleep while Nicholas sleeps? Very slim.

Day 10: something I (my mom) made

I made this carseat cover for the baby, and my incredibly talented mom crocheted the flowers for the straps. It turned out exactly how I had envisioned it, and I love it-the flowers are just perfect.

Day 11: something fun/exciting

Kent went out to water the trees in our backyard-we are hoping to simply keep them alive at this point- and when he lifted the tarp to get the hose, he found a little friend taking shelter there. Nicholas was fascinated, and he's been asking about the frog ever since. Even this morning we had a long conversation about "where frog go?"

Day 12 & 13: from a distance, close up

Notice the shorts? Like I said, he's usually pants-less this summer.

We got this farm and zoo set for Nicholas for Christmas. We "play mommy amils" (animals) every single day. He especially likes the horse and the zebra, and he makes them gallop around the living room for hours.

This morning he had them out. He was asking each of the animals if they wanted some of his yogurt. I snapped this picture, and then when I looked again, he had the whole zoo gathered around the yogurt bowl.

I love to see him pretending. It reminds me of all the time I spent playing the same way when I was little.

Day 14: flowers

No real flowers in Texas right now. This IKEA stem, with tag still attached, will have to do.

photo challenge: 4 through 8

2011-09-08T15:45:00.001-06:00

Day four: favorite color

I can't really say that I have one specific favorite color.

It changes with the seasons.

Right now, this is my craft table. Pink and aqua have spent a lot of time in my head lately, and I'm still loving this color combination.

Day five: someone I love

Helping me water the grass. His pants (and most of his shirt) were soaked by the time he was done.

Day six: childhood memory

Frosted graham crackers with milk. This was my favorite after school snack.

And sometimes, my mom would pack frosted graham crackers with a lunch when we went fishing with my grandpa.

They would sit in the lunchbox in the warm sun all morning, and then when it came time to eat them they were so perfect: the crackers would get soft and they'd be warm and mmmm.

I still eat graham crackers (with or without frosting) and milk a few times a week.

Day seven: something new

I just bought this mirror for the baby's room.

Found it for only $30 at TJ-Maxx.

We are picking up the dresser on Saturday, and the crib should be arriving on Monday or Tuesday. I am so so excited to get her room all together!

Day eight: technology

My computer desk.

The random assortment of things are from Nicholas. He found them in my bathroom closet and calls them his "soaps."

It's pretty exciting to come to my desk each day because I'm never quite sure what I'm going to find on it. Or in the printer for that matter.
Ever since his april fool's day trick, the printer has become his special place to put all sorts of things.

Just the other day he walked in here with his shoulders shrugged saying "where is it? where is it?" and then he laughed and said "oh yeah!" walked over to the printer, opened it up, pulled out his littlepeople cow and said "there it is!"

And do you like the boppy pillow on my chair? Sitting on hard surfaces gives me braxton hicks contractions like crazy, so this is my solution. Only 8 more weeks, right??

clouds

2011-09-03T21:13:00.001-06:00

Day 3 of Oh So Lovely's 30-day photo challenge.

I took this picture with Kent's phone on the way to get Jamba juice tonight--
Nicholas took a very late nap,
woke up at 6:30,
and he was grumpy. An "ice cream" smoothie with "orange straw!" cheered him right up, and
in no time at all he was
dancing his little heart out at Jamba juice.

And lest you think that those clouds meant we got precipitation in any form,
here's what the sky looks like most of the day, every day:

I never thought in my whole life I would get tired of sunshine,
but at this point, I want rain so bad that I wake up, open the blinds, and think
"oh great, another day of blue skies."

I know there are places out there with too much rain...
can't we share a little so we can all be happy?

day 1

2011-09-01T10:04:00.001-06:00

I found this 30-day photo challenge from Oh So Lovely last month,
but August was a little busy, so I decided to do it in September.

Day 1: Self-portrait

And while I was working on my self-portrait, Nicholas was sitting on my dresser (I was right next to him),
and he noticed himself in the mirror.

And then, he really liked the song on Pandora playing in the other room,

so he danced.

And he admired his moves.

happy day Nicholas!

2011-08-31T11:12:00.002-06:00

Waking up with streamers on his door, of course.

My boy is two!

He had his birthday while we were in Utah.

Or rather, he had his five birthdays while we were in Utah.

Kent was going to be gone on Nicholas's actual birthday, so we celebrated a week early,

and then,

nearly every day after that was

also "Happy Day Nicholas!" according to Nicholas, that is. We sang the happy birthday song mulitple times a day the whole week.

He loved having us sing to him.

He loved blowing out candles.

He loved eating cake.

He loved opening up his "predents!"

And balloons. He loved balloons.
He used to be scared of balloons, especially if they'd get too close to his face.
But not anymore. He's two now-balloons are fun!

The first present he opened was a magnetic fishing puzzle,
and he was perfectly happy with that puzzle alone.
We'd ask him if he was ready for another present and
he'd just say "no--fish game!"

Even when we told him that his next present contained jelly beans,
he still chose to play with the puzzle instead of open the presents.

So we let him. It was his birthday, after all.

Quite a while later, though, he felt ready to open more presents.

I love his expression in this one--he really was excited about the car once we got it out of the package and showed him what it could do.

We did the singing/blow out the candles routine four times in a row. He was just so excited to have us all singing happy birthday to him, and he loved the fact that he could get the candles to blow out.

He'd blow them out, cheer wildly, and then say "mone more time!" and start singing to cue us to sing also.

It was awesome.

Is there anything more fun than being a parent? I don't think so.

A few nights later, on his actual birthday, we let him have another piece of cake with candles.
My brothers had tried to teach him how to hold up two fingers to show how old he was.

He's a bit creative with it.
This is him showing us that he's
"Two!"

Happy Birthday, my Nicholas.

picture Daddy flying!

2011-08-28T06:49:00.000-06:00

Kent's birthday present this year:

going flying.

They have a place in Utah called iFly. An indoor wind tunnel that simulates sky diving.
It was pretty awesome. My brothers, my dad, and my aunt went with also, and the rest of us tagged along to watch.

Nicholas was mesmerized by the entire thing--and every time he sees the cover of the DVD they gave us, he loudly exclaims

"picture! Daddy flying!"

I kind of hope that Kent wants to go again sometime (not within the next two months)
because I want to try it too.

the cache county fair

2011-08-27T09:58:00.000-06:00

When I found out that we were going to be in Utah during the Cache County Fair I started telling Kent about these:

Posse Burgers.

The Sheriff's department sets up a booth to sell them every year at the fair. And they are glorious.

Hamburger, perfectly seasoned, with melted american cheese and a thick slice of ham.

Last summer, when my Grandpa was very sick, he had the family bring him down to the fairgrounds all wrapped up and in his wheelchair, just so he could have a posse burger.

Kent was sceptical-he told me that I should stop talking about them because I was setting his expectations too high and then he would just be disappointed.

Well we went to the fair that Thursday night.

We didn't stay long because Nicholas had his usual "travel-to-Utah-fever" and wasn't feeling too great,

but of course we stayed long enough to have a posse burger with my family.

The next morning, Nicholas was better, and Kent went upstairs first thing in the morning and asked my mom what time the fair opened that day. He just had to go back and have another posse burger.

Posse Burgers are best enjoyed sitting on the grass next to the little canal that runs through the fairgrounds. They just don't taste as good if you eat them anywhere else.

And while we were there, Kent got to cross something very important off of his bucket list.

Eating deep-fried twinkies. And oreos.

He was one happy man.

We thought Nicholas would like seeing the goats and sheep and chickens again since he wasn't feeling well the night before when he saw them,

but surprisingly, all he wanted to do was

sit in the shade and watch the "round and round" aka ferris wheel.

Thrilling.

So we sat on the grass next to the ferris wheel for quite some time, really just enjoying the fact that we could actually sit on the grass! and enjoy!

back

2011-08-26T14:33:00.002-06:00

Nicholas and I flew back home on Tuesday. Nicholas has perfected this awesome pterodactyl scream that he put to good use on the airplanes.
But really, we've had worse flights; the traveling seemed to go by pretty quickly and as soon
as we landed here, Nicholas
stopped mid-screech, sat straight up, and said
"Landed!"
Yeah, Bud, we landed.
And then he put his fists in the air and shouted "Hooray! Daddy!!"

We were all happy to see each other again, and it does feel good to be back in my house,
but boy oh boy did we have fun in Utah.

I mean, we got to enjoy a real summer, even if just for two weeks. We went outside! We sat in the shade on the grass! Had picnics! We played and played and played. So wonderful.

The day my brother got back from his mission was like Christmas--or even better.

We were all up VERY early that morning, too excited to sleep. We washed the cars, hung banners--my cousin Emily made that awesome giant one across the house, bought balloons, packed our camera bags, and counted down the minutes until we could drive to Salt Lake to pick Josh up.

When he came down the escalator, he headed straight for my mom-
gave her a huge hug, and said, "I love you"
and he was sobbing (sorry to tell everyone, Josh--but really, a sensitive side is a good thing for a man to have!)
And once he started....
well we must have been a funny sight-a large group (our family+cousins+aunts and uncles+grandma) all just bawling there in the airport.

The best part? Only a few hours later it kind of felt like he'd never even left. (It took Nicholas a little while to warm up to him, but Josh shared his fries with him at lunch, and that was the beginning of a beautiful relationship.)

Two years apart, and

he was still our Josh,

and it felt so good to have him back.

dear husband,

2011-08-22T16:09:00.000-06:00

I'm supposed to be packing right now.
But instead, I'm listening to pandora and looking through old pictures on facebook.
Like this one:

I think you're pretty awesome.
And going through these pictures has kind of taken me back,
shown me the journey from college (when I joined facebook just because I wanted to learn more about you)
to our wedding,
to now.
Our sweet crazy perfect life.
(not that it's perfect---just that the learning moments are kind of perfect for us.)

We're still trying to get the hang of being parents,
and oh-so-soon we're going to have a little girl too.

And I couldn't be more happy that we're in this together.

Thanks Babe. I love you.
See you tomorrow.

josh is back!

2011-08-11T09:32:00.000-06:00

And somehow, it feels like he never left.
It is a very happy week here.

no really mom, I'm helping!

2011-08-02T11:06:00.000-06:00

Strawberry-banana yogurt scooped ever so carefully into my new candle.

A bowl-full of rice so kindly dumped into my purse.

I guess he thinks if he needs to be fed, why not the purse and the candle?

harry potter party

2011-08-02T10:59:00.005-06:00

A few weeks ago, our friends asked us if we were excited about the new Harry Potter movie.

Definitely!

Then they asked if we wanted to have a party with them to celebrate.

Of course!

It was pretty low-key, compared to most of the parties people are having for this movie,

but it was perfect.

They came, we ate a dinner of "magic wand" breadsticks with "potion" dips,

delicious Brazilian lemonade,

and some fruit and a green salad for good measure.

Then we put the children to bed,

set up Kent's projector, and made some popcorn, witches hat cookies, and

butterbeer (a drink that is mentioned lots of times in Harry Potter).

I'm considering making butterbeer some sort of wintertime tradition-it was so yummy!

There are tons of recipes online for Butterbeer. We wanted to find one that didn't include alcohol, of course.
This recipe (from the food network) is the one we used:

Ingredients
1/4 cup sweetened condensed milk
1/4 cup butterscotch topping
2 tablespoons whipped butter, room temperature
1 1/2 cups vanilla cream soda
Directions
Combine condensed milk, butterscotch topping, and butter in a glass heatproof measuring cup. Heat in microwave for 1 minute. Remove and stir until butter has melted and incorporated into mixture. Meanwhile heat cream soda in another heatproof measuring cup for 1 minute 30 seconds.
Divide butterscotch mixture between 2 (10 to 12-ounce) mugs. Fill mugs with heated cream soda and stir thoroughly. Serve garnished with an old-fashioned butterscotch candy stick.

10 things from July

2011-07-31T10:33:00.002-06:00

1. Mint Chocolate Bath and Body Works hand soap.

I want to drink it. Smells so good. When I wake up in the middle of the night and have to use the bathroom, it's so fun to use this and go back to bed smelling so delicious.

2. Homemade popcorn.

Put 1/4 cup popcorn kernels in a brown paper bag and cook in the microwave. Add little drizzle of butter and some salt. The perfect snack.

3. Sewing.

I sew at night after Nicholas is in bed while Kent plays his computer game with his friends. We get to be in the same room but each doing our own thing. I feel like I've accomplished a lot so far, considering all the started-but-not-finished projects I've had over the years. I've made a nursing cover, a blanket, some burpcloths, and I'm working on the curtains for our bedroom. (Using curtain panels I bought from IKEA-cutting them up and making them fit better.)

4. Yogurtzone.

We've gone a couple times more since our family night trip. The manager now recognizes us. He doesn't know our names yet, though, so I think that means we need to go more often.

5. Swimming.

At least once a week we enjoy the benefits of having friends with neighborhood/complex pools.

Nicholas was terrified at first, not wanting to get in the water at all, but now he loves it! He talks about it all the time-he shows us "swimming" waving his arms in the air in front of him and tells us how he likes to splash Jayden (his swimming friend).

6. Lemon.

I've been craving lemony foods. I made some lemon poppyseed cupcakes this week but I'm still drooling over thoughts of lemon cookies, berry lemonades, lemon-something pies.

7. Cleaning.

The nesting instincts have hit me hard this time.

I've been a cleaning madwoman--so far I've organized every single closet in my house, sorted all of Nicholas's old baby clothes and other baby stuff, organized all the cupboards and drawers in the kitchen (with the exception of Kent's "tool drawer"-that's a nightmare I'll need his help to deal with), dusted and vacuumed baseboards, scrubbed floors and mirrors and windows, cleaned out the garage...

and then there's the 15 times a day I go through the house and just pick up all the things that Nicholas displaces.

8. Skirts.

I do not like maternity clothes, especially pants. Not only are they ridiculously expensive, but they just don't fit right. Ever. So this summer I've been all about the skirts.

9. A wiggly baby.

I'm 26 weeks now, and this little girl is crazy.

She is always moving. All through the day and all through the night.

Just watch, we're going to be that family with the most mild, quiet little boy and this wild child little girl.

I'm more than a little anxious to find out what she's going to be like. Will she ever sleep?

10. Ruffle-bum pants

and other baby girl clothes.

Yesterday Kent asked me if she's going to have anything to wear that doesn't have ruffles on it.

Now really, I haven't bought that many things with ruffles. But when I think about her sweet little bum with ruffles on it, well, I just can't resist.

a year later: Nicholas edition

2011-07-26T14:09:00.003-06:00

I told him to "look cute" for the camera.

Nicholas will be two in less than a month.
A year ago this was him.

Now, he talks, he learns, he goes to nursery, he makes up songs, he plays with friends. He's a real little person.
There's so much I could say about him-I'm going to have to break it up into smaller peices.

I'll start with the talking. He says everything now. It still surprises me sometimes when I hear him jabbering and then realize that he's actually saying real words in a real sentence. I just can't believe that my little guy can talk like that already.
But these past few weeks have been so much fun.
I feel like I have a little buddy around all day long, and I love it!

He's creative, curious, and silly. He plays really well by himself, but he loves it when I play with him too. And really, I love to play with my little talking guy.
His sentences are so awesome.
Some examples:
"I hug a mommy" means "pick me up and carry me where I want to go."
"I watch a counter lunch" means "let me sit on the counter and watch you make my lunch."
"I coming a mommy!" means "I'm coming to where you are"

I love that he uses the word "a" in all the wrong places.

Playing Angry Birds on the "Game Crap"

He loves to sing-he makes up songs, and they always have the same lyrics: "no my no. No my no. No my no."
He also likes to sing If You're Happy and You Know It, but from him,
the word "clap" comes out as "crap."
And it's very enthusiastic.
"No my no. Crap! Crap! No my no. Crap!"
And if I'm not singing: "Sing a mommy! Crap! Sing!"
It's seriously hilarious, but I have to try to hide it because I don't exactly want him to know that this word can be so funny.
There's a video of this song on an app on Kent's Xoom. So Nicholas calls the Xoom "Game Crap."

He loves to count "2, 4, 6!" and he loves to label colors "yewow green!" He will usually correctly name the colors orange and black, but everything else is yellow green.
When we correct him, he gives this little chuckle and says "oh yeah, sorry! Blue." or "oh yeah, sorry! Red."

My little buddy with me at the store.

He says "sorry" all the time. The other day we were at La Cantera (an outdoor mall) shopping for some baby clothes. He was stopped in the middle of the path, dancing his little heart out. I called him and told him it was time to walk this way, and he comes running with his shoulders shrugged and his hands up, saying "Sorry! Music. Dance. Sorry!" like "so sorry--there was music and I just couldn't resist dancing."

And then he stopped, turned back to the path where he'd been dancing and shouted "bye!" It was super awesome.

It's so nice that he's old enough for us to reason with him a little bit-we can usually avert a tantrum simply by telling him what is going on and explaining that he can do that after we do this, etc. He'll sniffle a bit, say "okay," and then he's ready to enjoy whatever activity we are about to do.

He answers every question we ask him with a simple "Yep!" or a nonchalant "Yeah."

He thinks of things on his own, and tells us all about them.
The other day he just kept telling me about some "baby elephant" and then he'd laugh like it was the funniest joke he's ever thought up.
He likes to remember people he knows. Sometimes I'll hear him in the back seat while we're driving simply reciting people's names. "Mommy. Daddy. Nikas. Gramma. Jonah. Mason. Sarah. Papa. Grammer. Jayden. Pax. Allison." and of course, "Baby Aubrey!"

You see, Baby Aubrey (our friends' little girl) is Nicholas's favorite person. He talks about her all.the.time.
He seriously mentions her name at least 10 times a day.

In fact, a few nights ago, Kent was playing "get you!" (chase and tickle) with Nicholas, and they stopped for a minute. Kent said "Nicholas, I love you."
Nicholas looked at him, furrowed his brow, and shouted "No! I love Baby Aubrey!"

So if he can only love one person at a time, Baby Aubrey's going to win out.
Let's just hope he loves little baby sister just as much.

a wizard in the bathroom

2011-07-17T20:49:00.001-06:00

I woke up on Thursday morning full of energy (Nicholas slept through the night-progress finally!) and nesting motivation.

I was going to deep clean my kitchen.

I cleaned and cleaned and stacked all the trash bags next to the front door so I could take them out later,

you know, when I was wearing something other than my pajamas.

So later,

the very moment I opened the door to take out the trash,

a little lizard scurried inside, across the entryway, and into the bathroom.

In my head I thought:

grab a bowl and trap it quick!

but the lizard moved much quicker than my quick could happen,

and then the lizard was beneath our vanity.

I called Kent to ask for advice.

His response: laughter and "have a good day!"

I called my Mom. She was very sympathetic-due to a similar run in with a snake when I was a baby.

Her advice: call Kent and make him come home from work to get rid of it.

Also, don't let the lizard bite me.

Well judging from Kent's reaction to my phone call, I was pretty sure he wasn't coming home, and I really wasn't planning on getting close enough for the creature to bite me.

So I grabbed the bathroom rug, shut the door, and wedged the rug tightly under the door.

Nicholas was completely delighted. The night before this we had pointed out a lizard on the outside of our living room window-

now we had an actual "wizard!" in the bathroom. What luck!

He spent the morning sitting on the rug, reading books to the wizard, and asking me if he could feed it some toast.

And I spent the day really enjoying the awesomeness that little boys are. We decided to name the lizard "Warry" as in "Larry the Lizard."

"Warry the Wizard."

When Kent got home from work it was time to set Warry free.

Our first lizard-catching attempt, however, ended up with the lizard back safe and snug beneath the vanity where nothing we had could get to him.

So I re-stuffed the rug under the door and went to my Relief Society activity.

After Nicholas was in bed, the lizard had moved back over to the wall by the toilet, and we began our second attempt by making sure that little guy couldn't scurry his way back beneath the vanity.

Children's books: education AND functional.

I couldn't get pictures during the actual process:

imagine two adults with plastic cups,

a yardstick, and a square of cardstock,

trying to lure/startle the lizard out into the open a bit more-

but trying not to startle the lizard so much that he came any closer to us than we wanted.

Eventually, Kent swooped in and snagged the little guy in his cup and took him safely outside.

What was left, however,

made me squeal and both of us laugh so loud that we woke Nicholas up and had to go help him get back to sleep.

The poor Wizard's tail, still wiggling on the wall.

fhe photo shoot

2011-07-16T20:47:00.000-06:00

Anyone ever tried to have your husband take a good picture of your family home evening activity

at yogurtzone's grand opening

with a somewhat sleepy/grumpy almost-two-year-old?

Forgot to tell Kent it was on Manual. Oops.

He ate all the m&m's-not happy that they're gone.

Good timing, Daddy.

As good as we're going to get.

We ended up loving the place so much that we went back again-

for dinner-

on Wednesday night.

Because sometimes, in the summer, ice cream sounds better than real food.

a year later: master bathroom

2011-07-11T16:59:00.001-06:00

Let me first say,

it didn't take a whole year to do this bathroom.

But it certainly has been a little-by-little project.

So, a year ago, our bathroom looked something like this:

White white walls, 80's style light fixture that made everything look yellow,

teeny tiny vanity, gray linoleum,

and of course, that wallpaper.

As of yesterday, we finally hung up the last picture frame

(it had been sitting on the back of the toilet, waiting to join the rest of them,

for probably a month and a half. Like I said,

little-by-little),

and now,

our bathroom looks like this:

Castle pictures taken by Sam and Heidi on our France trip 3 years ago.

Kent let me splurge and get Anthropologie knobs for the vanity.

We have lots of counterspace, a curved shower rod that makes our thin-person tub feel way more roomy, track lighting to help lighten the long narrow room,

and enough decorations to make it feel soothing but not cluttered.

Every single time I take a shower,

I look up at where the wall meets the ceiling, and I breathe a sigh of relief.

No more wallpaper.

a year later: me edition

2011-07-07T12:07:00.000-06:00

Me from last July,
and this July.

I think I've finally reached the point where people can tell that I'm actually pregnant--not just the "she might be..." stage.

A few weeks ago I was wondering when that second trimester energy was going to come.

I guess it just isn't the same when you spend all your time with two-year-old.

But I've been feeling really great the past two weeks or so; definitley nesting-I have this intense desire to get every closet, drawer, box, and corner of my house in perfect order before the baby gets here.

I know that it isn't really important to have it all done, but it feels like it is.

I get intense and very specific cravings, usually in the evenings.

A few times a week I find myself really wanting a tuna fish sandwich around 9:30 at night.

Kent tells me that is strange, but it doesn't seem like it to me.

I mean, it's what I want.

I can't be the only person who likes to eat tuna before bed, right?

A day or two ago I was just sitting in the living room and suddenly I needed a snickerdoodle.

And last night, I was tearing up my iceberg lettuce for my salad, and at that moment, I realized that the thing I wanted most in the whole world was to eat the spaghetti I had in the cafeteria of Snow College one summer when I was at youth conference.

That one was a little weird, I admit.

And then there's the excitement of my shrinking pregnant brain. Inability to communicate without fumbling my words, inability to remember things I said or did only moments earlier, that sort of stuff.

Did you know that they've actually done studies and proven that a woman's brain literally shrinks when she's pregnant?

Don't ask me who "they" are, but I believe them!

And the dreams. I have awesome pregnant dreams. Happily, I'm past the nightmares stage of the first trimester, and now I have dreams about really cool things.

Like Josh Groban helping me set up my Christmas tree and serenading us,

swimming with dolphins in a Church pageant,

and being in the cast of the waterworld show at Universal Studios.

Things are going really well. I keep forgetting that I'm pregnant, actually.

I guess Nicholas keeps me too busy thinking about other things.

But then I happen to walk past a mirror and

oh yeah! We're having a baby girl!

It's pretty exciting to remember that.

a year later, yard and garden edition

2011-07-06T12:01:00.000-06:00

I was looking through my book of pictures of the day from last year, and I realized how very, very different this summer is from last.

I thought it might be fun to review a few of the differences.

For example, here's our backyard on a day late last June:

And now, here's our backyard as of yesterday:

Last summer, I was enjoying these fresh from the garden:

This summer I gave up. When I watered the garden every day the plants started turning yellow from too much water. But when I missed even a single day, they withered up from the heat.
So this year, here's my tomato plants:

Pitiful. I know. Hopefully I'll still feel up to gardening again once September comes around and we can start the second planting season.

And for our final yard and garden example, here's my flower garden from last July:

And this July:

I actually purchased flowers a few months ago, but they all promptly died. I decided not to spend any more money on a lost cause.

I don't know if it is possible to have seasonal depression from summertime, but I'm certainly craving some cloudy days, rainstorms, and cool winds.

It rained for maybe 90 seconds one day last week, and I actually ran outside and cheered.

I think Nicholas is tired of it too. Every time we step outside to get in the car he puts his hands over his eyes and says
"Too hot! Head hot!" And then he looks at me like: why do we live here, Mommy?
I don't know. (Okay, okay, it's the job. I know.)

I sent him out a few days ago to play in the wading pool, and a few minutes later he was sweating and begging me to let him come back inside, have some milk, and watch a show. It's too hot here even to play in the pool.

Can it be winter yet?

why I'm doing it again

2011-07-01T15:07:00.004-06:00

Me and Nicholas-one day old

I've been thinking a lot this week.

On Tuesday I read an article. The No-Baby Boom. According to the article, there are 58.4 million married couples in America, and 26.9 million of them are childless.
The article states that, in essence, "children have gone from being an economic asset to an economic liability."

It continues:
"But for the child-free, the benefits go beyond dollars and cents. There's less guilt, less worry, less responsibility, more sleep, more free time, more disposable income, no awkward conversations about Teen Mom, no forced relationships with people just because your kids like their kids, no chauffeuring other people's kids in your minivan to soccer games you find less appealing than televised chess."

And you know, these things are all true.
But they are missing the most important part.

I do sleep less than I would without children.
But to miss the sweetness of those middle of the night milk-drunk smiles, when a dribble of milk falls down their chin as their head rolls back and they're sound asleep again? Or the chubby dimpled hand that curls around my neck in the darkness? I wouldn't.

I do have less (if any) free time. I can't even use the bathroom with the door closed.
But I can't bear to think about not being the person who gets to have Nicholas as my constant little bud. And to miss his excited/astonished "Wook at dat!" when he discovers something new, or his delighted "Hi Mommy!" when he follows me around the house? I couldn't!

I do worry more. About everything from the value of organic food to the structure of a proper time-out to the strange rash that shows up suddenly. I wake up in the middle of the night and get up and make sure all the windows are locked. I check my sleeping boy's temperature so often that I regret it-he wakes up sometimes.

But I'd rather worry about all of those things and all the things to come than spend all my time thinking about myself.

Parenthood is hard work. Hard hard hard. It makes me cry. It makes me want to pull my hair out (and sometimes I even do!). It makes me want to give up.

I will not say that it isn't hard. But that is precisely why it is so wonderful.
I am happier now than I have ever been.
You see, being a mother is helping me to reach my divine potential. More than anything I have experienced before, the love and sacrifice I give for my child(ren) is teaching me about God's love.

And that is why, in around 18 weeks, I am going to be delighting in that special smell of a just-born baby.
I am going to be holding her on my chest, kissing her neck, sniffing her hair.
I am going to be sitting in that hospital bed, tired and sore, marveling in the miracle that Heavenly Father has sent me yet another one of his precious children.

I wouldn't give that up for anything. Anything.

he may not be ready for training

2011-06-23T19:18:00.002-06:00

but he's certainly ready for bed!

Sorry--he moves fast!

Nicholas found the underwear I've been storing in the bathroom cupboard today. He had me put them (there are three pairs) over his shorts and he wore them all morning.

I did not let him wear them to Costco. Cue toddler meltdown.

When we got back we had dinner and I thought he'd forgotten about them.

But as soon as we went up to the get him in the bathtub tonight,

he opened the cupboard, saw the underwear, and loudly exclaimed

"Ereis!" translated: "There it is!"

He has to "chase his tail" in order to see the car on the back.

It's awesome and hilarious.

Maybe the underwear will help our teething boy sleep through the night again?

If not, at least he'll look super cool.

and it's a .....!

2011-06-18T13:21:00.002-06:00

Some of our friends came over last night. Before they arrived we hung blue and pink streamers, filled the living room with blue and pink balloons (although if you ask Nicholas he'll tell you they're "Green! Yellow!"--he's still working on colors),

and I made this cake.

When they got here, we gathered around for the cake cutting-Kent and I were going to cut the cake together a'la newlywed style.

I guess we hadn't been very clear about the plan, because one of our friends looked around the circle of people anxiously awaiting the cake cutting and asked us what we were expecting to be in the cake?

The cake, you see, was the answer!

Pink!

It's a girl!

Wahoo!

And a word of advice: a spoonful of food color paste is more than enough to sufficiently color a box of cake mix.

I only used one of Nicholas's old baby spoons. I thought it would be just right. But it was very, very pink.

At least there was no mistaking the color!

As a funny coincidence, all three of us girls there last night were wearing pink, too!

I've been shopping already, and dreaming up all things girly.

We're so excited!

the third week in june

2011-06-17T12:54:00.002-06:00

We've had water restrictions since March, I think... we can only use sprinklers on Mondays. So the rest of the week, this is what we do after dinner: sit on the porch while Daddy waters the grass by hand. Because we just can't bear to let our grass die off.

My garden has completely succummed to the heat. I harvested two tomatoes, and I kept watering my sad little plants because I had three still on the vine.
But Monday morning I went out to check on them, and all three tomatoes were gone.
I hope whatever squirrel/bird/raccoon took them enjoyed them, because I'm giving up for this planting season. It's just too hot.

We bought a new ice cream machine for Father's Day. It came yesterday, and the mixing bowls are in the freezer ready for us to use them tonight. Mmm.

This week Nicholas has spent his days going from playing with the hose on the patio, to sitting in the kitchen sink with the water on, to playing in his wading pool. And then repeat the process.

We're going to have an astronomical water bill this month, but just look how happy he is!

And happy has been hard to come by this week. Nicholas is growing all four of his two-year molars at the same time. Poor kid, constantly shoving his fist in his mouth, gnawing on his fingers. We've been waking up nearly every hour with him through the nights this week.

I think he's just prepping us for the newborn days we have ahead.

How thoughtful of him.

My ultrasound was on Tuesday!

All is well and healthy, and we've started picking a name.

Yes, that's right. We know what the gender of our baby is.

Tonight we are having a "gender reveal" party with our friends. I'm going to be blowing up lots of balloons today!

i'm still learning

2011-06-14T14:16:00.002-06:00

A friend I met up with in Utah mentioned something to me about how she is excited to have her own children someday, because then she can start from the beginning raising her family the way she wants to and she won't have to try and correct mistakes made in the past.

I might be relatively new at this motherhood stuff,
but I know that I can only wish it was that easy.

This boy of mine, this beautiful happy boy of mine,
he is keeping me on my toes.
He is clever, curious, tenderhearted, active, loving, and silly.
He needs people to love. He needs things to explore and places to go.

In Utah and in California, he was happier than I've seen him since he entered toddlerhood. There were so many people for him to love, and so many things for him to do.
Back here at home, I feel inadequate. I feel like I'm not enough for him sometimes,
like he needs more than I can give him.

Which I am trusting is simply
his Heavenly Father's way of stretching me, teaching me, and helping me to grow into the woman and mother He wants me to be.

I know I need to be more creative. More involved. More active.
I'm oh so pregnant-tired, and it's oh so Texas-hot outside,
but one thing I have learned so far about being a mother,
is that somehow, when I make sure I'm doing what I should be,
the little I can do always becomes enough.

willow park

2011-06-10T12:22:00.001-06:00

There's a gorgeous park in Logan-
Willow Park Zoo (a mini-zoo with mostly birds, ducks, a few monkeys, bobcats, etc.).
When I was little, I often requested to have my birthday party at Willow Park.
My grandma always brought Frederico's pizza or KFC.

In case you are unaware, Frederico's pizza is the best pizza in the world.
Quite inconvenient to be a pregnant woman craving Frederico's all the way down here in
Texas. My mom bought it for my birthday again this year since I was there in Logan.

Have you ever experienced the pure bliss of finally getting something you've been pregnant-craving? Some of the best bites I've ever taken in my life.

We took Nicholas to Willow Park.
He loved it.
But the thing he loved the most--
the tree cotton all over the grass.

That and being helpful by "scratching" my brother's heads and backs.

After walking around we happened to meet up with the director of the zoo, who used to be in my parents' ward.
He was awesome and gave each of the boys a feather from the peacocks that roam the park.

Sometimes,
okay, maybe a lot/most of the time,
I boost the color in my photos.
But when I tried to do that with the pictures I took in Utah this time,
it was actually too bright, and too green!

Cache Valley in early summer is the most beautiful place on earth.
And that's the truth.

Trying to tickle the camera with the feather.

When we were done, my mom bought us rootbeer ice cream cones from A&W. Heaven.

I would love to live in Cache Valley again,
and who knows, maybe someday we will.
But if not, I'm so glad I will always have it to come home to.

"sorse and totes!"

2011-06-08T16:09:00.001-06:00

We're home from Utah.

It's so good to be back home with Kent.

I think he missed me this time,

even more than he usually does.

Today a boquet of "Welcome Home" flowers showed up at my door. Ah.

But we had the most wonderful time in Utah.

I mean, it was in the 60's there. Sunny (except the day it snowed) and beautiful.

When we got off the plane here in Texas I felt like I was melting. Uck.

Nicholas, especially, had fun in Utah. He was a happier kid than he ever is at home.

Minimal tantrums, lots of smiles, very few tears.

It might have something to do with the fact that he had 5 people who

were more than willing to do anything and everything he wanted them to.

My child is more than a bit bossy.

If you want the truth, though,

I was the exact same way at his age (only baby in a big group of cousins).

And I turned out okay, right? I hope?

One of Nicholas's favorite things about Utah?
The miniature horse and two goats that live at my grandma's house (next-door to my parents').
Every morning, the second thing he did, after making sure he knew where Jonah and Nathan were,
was climb up on the couch beneath the window and look over to the pasture, saying
"Sorse! Totes!" over and over again.

We took him over to feed them grass through the fence.
He must have been thinking about it really hard,
because he slowly brought the grass up to his own mouth and nearly tasted it before he realized what he was doing.

Ah, yes, I love this kid.

a little something new

2011-05-23T08:53:00.000-06:00

Baby #2 is due November 5th!

I'm already 16 weeks now--we waited to tell our siblings in person in California a few weeks ago and now here in Utah. News like this is just so much more fun to tell in person.

We really are very very happy-I can't wait to find out if Nicholas gets a brother or a sister, and then I'll get to start making things, buying things, picking a name, oh hooray!

I felt pretty yucky for a while at the beginning, and poor Nicholas spent a lot of days just watching Blue's Clues and Dora on Netflix (thank heavens for Netflix!) but now, other than the belly and the bizzare dreams, I pretty much feel back to normal.

It seems to be going so much faster this time.

I have less time to think about it. I'm less worried about things this time too.

In fact, we keep saying that we're even more excited this time than we were for Nicholas.

We planned for Nicholas and we wanted him more than anything, but we were scared...there were a lot of things we didn't know. I feel more confident in myself this time around, and that makes it more fun.

I started feeling baby kick this week--at the Josh Groban concert on Wednesday, actually.

I'm not sure what that means about the baby's personality. (A girl that loves Groban? A boy that was disgusted? A child of either gender that thinks they can sing better?)

But oh how I love feeling those soft little wiggles.

Somehow writing all of this is making it seem so much more real. A baby!

just the two of us

2011-05-15T20:23:00.003-06:00

We're home (for now)! I have lots to tell you about our trip to California, but I am going to start with a big highlight for us: the four days Kent and I spent in LA.

Just us.

Nicholas stayed with his Grammer and Papa. It was hard for me to leave him--like me ~~crying~~ sobbing as we drove away hard--but I knew he was in good hands, and from the sounds of it, I'm pretty sure he had more fun with them than he ever does at home with us.

The time that Kent and I got to spend with just each other was worth it, and I hope that we can make these kind of trips happen at least every couple of years. For us, it was important.

We stayed in Hermosa Beach, a bit south of LA, because it was much cheaper to get a view like this here than it was in Santa Monica. Hermosa Beach was so fun. Lots of little shops and restaurants and beautiful beach homes all along the streets. And it was nice to be mostly out of the chaos of LA.
We loved our hotel. So much that we would love to go back there if we ever get a chance.

This entire California trip was perfect for getting my "beach time" in for the year.
If I could, I'd spend every weekend at the beach, but since I can't, I try to soak it all in when I can.

Obligatory cheesey "shadow couple" picture.

Our itinerary for this trip was to "sleep when we wanted, eat when we wanted, and do whatever else we felt like."
It couldn't have been more perfect.

We slept in until 8! 8:30 one morning, actually. I haven't slept that late since Nicholas was born.

We ordered room service, a first for both of us. We were so excited about having breakfast delivered right to our room; it was like Christmas morning. Our eyes opened and we jumped up to get the menu and make the call right then and there.

We spent a day at Universal Studios. I think the best part of the park was that we didn't have anyone else to take care of and we could watch the shows, go on the rides, and buy candy just because we felt like it.

May 2011

We ate breakfast at Back on the Beach Cafe, where we ate together when Kent came to visit me when we were dating:

May 2007

We were so happy to be able to meet up with my cousin Sara one afternoon for lunch-we got to see her new house and she let us stay the afternoon and hang out in her gorgeous backyard and use her pool, hot tub, and cozy guest house. We said a quick hi to her kids when they got home from swim practice- I can't believe it's been four years since I was there to help out when her youngest was born.

And because it wouldn't be an Andersen vacation without the food, we took full advantage of being able to go out to eat whenever we wanted. We ate at a little Italian place in Hermosa, went to the fancy Boa's Steakhouse in Santa Monica, got authentic French crepes late one night, found the most incredible Mexican place right across the street from our balcony at the hotel, and made sure to stop at the famous Diddy Reise for cookie sandwiches on our way out of town.

When we got back to Kent's house, it was so fun to have Nicholas greet us with "Daddy! Mommy!" and the biggest dimply smile that stayed on his face while he had a snuggle fest with us for the next 45 minutes.

I definitely think this is something we need to do again. It was just so so good for us to remember how much fun we have together. The day-to-day grind makes it hard for me sometimes to see past the routine and remember that I really did marry my best friend, and I'm so lucky to have him.

cookies, finally

2011-04-28T17:04:00.001-06:00

I know it has been months since I started this chocolate chip cookie contest.
But like I said, I wanted to give every cookie a fair chance and only make them when I really felt like eating them. No cookie recipe can win when the cookie judge is all cookied-out.

We baked every recipe you sent us, and boy were they good! Most of them worked for me, some did not, although I figured out what my problem was:
using margarine instead of real butter.

Now my mom bakes cookies in Utah, and she always uses margarine, and they always turn out perfect and fluffy. In fact, when she uses real butter, they become flat, hard little messes.

I have no idea why margarine works in Utah and butter works in Texas. But it does. And I'm so glad that I've learned that now.

As for the winner of the contest, there was one recipe that just kept coming back to us, one recipe that we keep talking about, one cookie recipe that we could have eaten for days without getting tired of them.

Shannon's recipe for Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Cookies.

They were so, so good. The peanut butter gives it just a hint of flavor (and after they cool off you can hardly taste it at all) but it makes them moist and full and mouthwatering. The house smelled amazing while they were baking. Kent took some to work to share and his co-workers raved about them.
They are my new favorite chocolate chip cookie recipe.

Shannon's Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Cookies
Cream together -
3/4 cup butter, room temperature
1 cup sugar
1 cup brown sugar

Add to bowl & mix -
1/2 cup peanut butter
2 eggs
2 tsp. vanilla

In a separate bowl combine -
2 1/2 - 3 cups flour
1 tsp. baking sodaa
1/2 tsp. salt

Add dry ingredients to wet. Mix well. Add 1 pkg. chocolate chips (I would always choose milk chocolate chips).
Bake at 350 for 10-12 minutes.

Congrats, Shannon! Thanks for the recipe.
As for your prize, I plan to hand-deliver it this very weekend!